Post by sawg138 on Dec 18, 2010 22:03:41 GMT -5
Matt: He'll approach her sometime in the afternoon, seemingly as stalwart as ever, and trying not to show that he doesn't want to have the conversation he's about to have, "Aliza-san, a word if you please?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Umm, sure?" *would probablly be lounging on her favorite couch*
Matt: *straightens up slightly and takes a deep breath before speaking* "I would appreciate it, if from now you, you ceased in your derrogatory incinuations in regards to how some of us act. Judging us all as a whole, for the actions of the few, is not necessarily the best course of actions."
Nekira Sudacne: "I see you missed the point then" *looks over at him*
Matt: "I did not, Aliza-san..." *shakes his head* "This is not the first time you have said something decidedly and intentionally hurtful towards someone who did not deserve it."
Nekira Sudacne: "Then i'm right, you have missed the point" *sighs*
Nekira Sudacne: "The point is that this is how the rest of the city sees us. We live togeather. We're a crew. If one person does something bad, it means the city DOES see it as exsactly the same as if you did it yourself. There is no difference, the fact that you had nothing to do with it does NOT matter in the slightest. you WILL get the blame"
Matt: *bristles up* "That is a point of concern I have already considered. Yet it has little to do with YOUR words to us, Aliza-san. Stating 'You morons' when you speak only to me is not only pointless but needlessly hurtful."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks slowly* "Wait, you were offended by that?"
Matt: *frowns* "Why did you think I stopped speaking to you and then decided to quickly leave your presence shortly there after, Aliza-san?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Because you usually do that whenever we talk"
Matt: "Because you are usually insulting and derrogatory when we speak. I am asking you to stop doing that... I do not deserve your harshness nor have I done anything to have acquired it."
Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "I only do it because I like you, Elex"
Matt: *blinks... slowly... again...* "I... uh... what?"
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "Do I have to get a neon sign to show you that? I got NAKED for you on several occasions. and you didn't ASK me to even!"
Matt: *blinks* "You have gotten naked for everyone here... Aliza-san... I know you have done much more with some of them as well..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I do it when they want me to. I did it to make you want me to..."
Matt: (Honestly a shocked moment here...) "Aliza-san..." *frowns and seems decidedly confused* "I... do not understand that. Why?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Why do I like you? Gee" *stands up and walks twords him* "Your smart, intelligent, and have a good heart"
Matt: *frowns* "And unavailable, Aliza-san. I know Juarez is short of good men... but that is not a problem I would be able to help you with..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I noticed. That's why I do I waht do to you"
Matt: (That's why I do I waht do to you? Translation please...)
Nekira Sudacne: "I know your not interested, that's why I do what you were talking about")
Matt: "You do it... because I am not available? You will... excuse me, Aliza-san, if I fail to see the purpose in that..." *frowns* "It is Aliza-san though... And there is much that confuses me about Aliza-san..."
Nekira Sudacne: "The purpose is to try to convince you to change your mind. What's confusing about me? I'm a very simple woman" *poses*
Matt: "Change my mind...about you?" *frowns*
Nekira Sudacne: "Well...yes. Why woulnd't I want you to change your mind"
Matt: "Multiple reasons, Aliza-san. Prior to your... change... you were Ringo-san's. Now you belong to Ashera. My heart belongs to the Lady Chu'Si and will until the time comes for her to leave this plane of existence."
Nekira Sudacne: "What does belonging to the Lady have to do with it?" *blinks uncomprehendingly* "she WANTS me to act like this"
Matt: "..."
Nekira Sudacne: *Grins and walks up* "Did you miss the part where i'm supposed to convert people to her worship? How am I gonna do that if I DON'T try to change people's minds?"
Matt: *shakes his head and seems to breath a huge sigh of relief* "That is not an excuse, Aliza-san. Your activities were as such prior to you being found by religion..."
Nekira Sudacne: "....did you ever consider the fact that the goddess chose ME precicely because my previous actions are perfectly in alignment with her religion? because that's how it works. I was promoted from human to angel because I embodied her tenants without even knowing about her"
Matt: *frowns and sighs, pinching his nose* "Aliza-san... you are the most complex woman I have ever met before in my entire life. You claim nakedness as a course of action because you wished me to want you... yet you know that to be impossible, for my heart belongs to another. Ashera, whom-so-ever she is, is not my faith, not my belief..."
Nekira Sudacne: "...hence the part about trying to convince you to accept it as your beleif..."
Matt: *shakes his head* "I can not. I apologize, Aliza-san. Unless you can show me a side of Ashera beyond wanton lust and sexual desire... I find nothing that would entice me into such a belief system..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I took you in for no real reason didn't I? Arn't I volenteering at clnics now? seeking to clean up the city?"
Matt: *raises an eyebrow* "You... volunteering at clinics? First I have heard of it..."
Nekira Sudacne: 'Do you announce every good deed you do to the public at large? Why should I?"
Matt: "I did announce the establishment of the Shae os si Shadi Dojo... to the public. However, your point is well taken..."
Nekira Sudacne: "You just happen to be a man not in need of chairty"
Matt: *crosses his arms over his chest* "Perhaps it is time you explain Ashera to me then..."
Nekira Sudacne: "She was once the mother goddess, now she is barely emerging from slumber. She is the symbol of fertility, but also of Strength, and motherhood. her symbols are teh supporting pillar and the lion, which she rides. She teaches that we should help good things grow, people as well. this city is locked in a cycle of death. We shall see to that. She also beleives that that which is truely bad and destructed must be rooted out, by force if necessarcy. Sex begets life, and should be practiced freely"
Matt: "I... see..." *frowns* "She sounds like a benevolent enough being..."
Matt: "Or... at least, a force for good."
Nekira Sudacne: "She is"
Nekira Sudacne: "Though make no mistake" she walks up and looks him in the eye* "Hell Hath No Fury like a Woman scorned..."
Matt: "Though I can approve of some of her precepts... Strength, motherhood, helping things grow, the support of life and the destruction of evil... I will not claim her as my own for I have sworn an oath to a different purpose."
Nekira Sudacne: "That's okay. I think she can make certain...accomadations for Cyber Knights"
Matt: *raises an eyebrow*
Matt: "Perhaps..."
Nekira Sudacne: "She does not demand exclusive worship or service from everyone. She was once part of an entire patheon after all. It is possible to serve a different goal and still follow her as you may and be friendly"
Matt: "Your definition of friendly, Aliza-san?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Hers. Or whatever you are willing to give"
Matt: "I will give thanks to her, if only in my own heart and words, for giving you a higher purpose other than your own self-destruction, Aliza-san. For that I am very grateful for."
Nekira Sudacne: "I...must admit. If you are truely grateful, a tangible benifit would be greatly appriciated. Like all religions, hers must ultimately be funded by the faithful and those who support her. I am trying to build a temple, but I am not as rich as I can sometimes seem, and I did not receive any part of that priate guys treasure hoard as I did not participate"
Matt: *frowns* "And we come to yet another impasse. Much of my money has been used in funding and supplying the dojo. However, there is still a possibility..." *reaches into his leather vest and tosses her a small pounch, it only weighs about a pound though* "It is gold... and it is a start, Aliza-san. You might wish to consult with Anna-san as well. There is still much from that escapade that we have not even considered doing anything with... The others seem to have not bothered with them. However, Anna-san and I have kept track of it all..."
Nekira Sudacne: *smiles* "Every little bit adds up"
Nekira Sudacne: "thank you"
Nekira Sudacne: *suddenly gives him a hug*
Matt: *just stands there, like hugging a plank of wood* "You are welcome, Aliza-san.... Please do not try to kiss me..."
Nekira Sudacne: "No" she says before giving you a playful kiss on the nose and grins*
Matt: "Ack!"
Matt: *pulls back*
Nekira Sudacne: *lets you go laughing*
Nekira Sudacne: "It's not like I was gonna EAT it, Elex..."
Matt: "Ugh... Aliza-san... I do so dislike when you do such things to me..."
Nekira Sudacne: "Why can't you find the joy in play?"
Matt: "Aliza-san, you and I have a very different idea of what defines play... to an extent."
Nekira Sudacne: "Do you even HAVE a definition of play?"
Matt: *nods* "Hai, Aliza-san. I do. I enjoy a nice cup of green tea over a game of Go with a skilled opponent."
Nekira Sudacne: "The best games dont' involve boards, they involve people just having fun with each-other"
Matt: *shakes his head* "I am still not at that point yet. I am aware of that..."
Nekira Sudacne: "And you'll never be at that point if you don't ever try"
Matt: "Yes, Aliza-san, I have gone out and had fun... it is just not... something I am totally comfortable with yet..."
Matt: "You all simply have such a very different idea of what is enjoyable and fun. I enjoy Go, singing... floral arrangments..."
Nekira Sudacne: "And i'm trying to broaden that veiw"
Matt: *shrugs slightly* "You may try, Aliza-san. Far be it for me to stop you from accomplishing something good and worthy such as broadening someone elses view point."
Nekira Sudacne: "But you are constantly telling me to stop doing just that"
Matt: "No, Aliza-san. I am constantly telling you to stop trying to entice me through lewd acts and vulgar language. That is all. I am slowly coming to terms with the body and those who use it as a form of expression so... freely... but I know it is far from finished and that I still have a long road ahead of me."
Nekira Sudacne: "And how would stop exposing you to such things help you on your journey to improvement, when it is those very things that you need to adapt to in the first place?"
Matt: *opens his mouth... then closes it... holds up a finger and tries to speak but closes his mouth again... deep frown...*
Nekira Sudacne: *smiles and walks up* "Why DO you resist. You know there is only one way to accept it, and that's the way you accept anything. to simply breath and do it, and cease to worry or think about it
Matt: "Allow me to express my worry, Aliza-san. I will worry about your advances. It violates a point of honor that should never be crossed to me."
Nekira Sudacne: "And what point is that?"
Matt: "I took a vow, an oath, that I would only break upon her death... That I would stay by her side and remain loyal to her and her alone..." *frowns solemnly* "That is the point of honor..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I don't want your loyalty, I just want to have sex with you!"
Matt: "And I am telling you, there is only one I will engage in such activities with...!" *frowns* "You may be better off talking to the Lady Chu'Si..."
Nekira Sudacne: "You still havn't explained how having sex would violate your oath."
Matt: "I swore that it would be her, and only her, that I would engage in such activities with."
Nekira Sudacne: "really? I don't think that's how the ceremony goes. If I recall correctly it goes more "To have and to hold as long as you both shall ive?"
Matt: *blinks and frowns* "What ceremony is that?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Wedding ceremony. or if you arn't married, just what oath DID you take?"
Matt: "It is... complicated. I know the word marriage and what the Lady Chu'Si and I did was something similar... however, we are bound to each other without exception to others."
Nekira Sudacne: "I have time. Explain it"
Matt: *sighs* "We dedicate ourselves to each other completely. When one of us is lost, it is as though a deep part of us is missing. It is a feeling of being incomplete... "
Matt: "When Ringo-san and the Lady Chu'Si were trapped in that hellish dimension... that is how it felt, it felt as though I was no longer complete until I had made contact with her."
Nekira Sudacne: "And what does that have to do with sex?"
Matt: "It is... an intimate engagement. Not meant as something casual or frivolous..."
Nekira Sudacne: "So your engaged but not married?"
Matt: "I meant sex, Aliza-san."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "What...on earth...makes you think Sex is a casual thing for me?"
Matt: "Aliza-san, there is no other explanation for your continual advances. You merely wish to... have... sex... with me because your find me attractive. That is all! There is no emotion behind it! You can not love me! You would do it, for the sole purpose of doing it! If I ever consented to such an act, I would fully expect the Lady Chu'Si to take my head! Or I would personal shove the knife into my stomach for doing such a dishonor to the woman I love..."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "No...really...You thought so little of me? I'm offended. I wish to have sex with you because sex is a /glorious/ thing! there is much honor to be had in it!"
Matt: *frowns* "Aliza-san..." *takes a step back* "At times, you can strike me as a very intelligent, well intentioned, good hearted human being. At other times... you make absolutely no sense to me what-so-ever. While I can agree with you that it is something wonderful, it gave me a son. I believe that it is also something special that should not be shared freely, but shared with much weighted thought and feeling behind it..." *sighs* "I wish Chu'Si was here... this would be so much easier... yet another woman..." *shakes his head*
Nekira Sudacne: *frowns and suddenly slaps Elex* "You dishonorable wretch. You should be ruling the weak, not helping them, what kind of foolishness do you think your doing!"
Nekira Sudacne: *pauses* "Oh, i'm sorry, I guess telling someone their entire lifes philosphy is something they should kill themselves over is only something YOUR allowed to do"
Matt: *glares* "You put words in my mouth, Aliza...san. I said no such thing."
Nekira Sudacne: "If I told you I would kill myself if I ever protected teh weak and innocent for commiting such a dishonorable act, how would you take it?"
Matt: "Now who is not accepting another person's view point?"
Nekira Sudacne: "I did not say I did not accept it, I said you said it in just about the rudest, most offensive way imagineable"
Nekira Sudacne: "I only insult certain things you do. Have I ever told you i'd rather kill myself than be like you?"
Matt: "You did, Aliza-san. You once told me you would rather die than be as big of a stick in the mud as I was."
Matt: "And as we have found out already... I do take you seriously when you say those things."
Nekira Sudacne:
The difference is you know I joke. when you said that you were completely serious"
Matt: "No, Aliza-san. I believed, for a long time, that you thought very little of me. Because I was so unlike you. I believed that you actually had pity for me, because I was so unlike you. The things that made me strong, you saw as me being a weakling, a fool, a moron and an idiot... Prior to five minutes ago, I believed you had absolutely no respect or consideration for me, what-so-ever. Now, you tell me, Aliza-san, who has been judged more harshly? I at least never told you that I would kill you, you on the other hand, have stated it already once before..."
Nekira Sudacne: "Would you not say you would kill me if I was fighting Chu'si?"
Matt: "I would not. Chu'Si does not need me to defend her."
Matt: *takes a deep breath and sighs it out* "Aliza-san, I apologize for insulting you, it was not my intent. It was, however, something that's severity needed to be expressed..."
Matt: "I did not wish to come here to fight you... again..."
Nekira Sudacne: "eh" *shrugs* "You still havn't explained why you beleive sex isn't something to be shared. Joy multiplies as it is spread yes? So how would spreading it, in any way diminish what you have with Chu'si? It would not, you only got the idea in your head somehow, but I don't think you can really explain to me why you are so certain of it."
Matt: "Can I? No. I can not. It is something that was instilled to me when I was a child that adhered through decades... " *sighs* "this is actually something that is very confusing for me... when the time comes, I will have to break that vow... and so will she... I know it will happen... which is why I think you should talk to her, moreso than I."
Nekira Sudacne: "Fanatic idea with no support. At least you can't accuse me of the same fanatisem. I embraced this on my own well before I found religion. You are following blindly what you were taught, and you don't even have a REASON to assume it's true, especially when the fact that there are plenty of loving open relationships that PROVE, beyond question, that it's entirely possible to be free and just as loving"
Matt: "You are right, Aliza-san. Of course. Good day." *turns and leaves*
Nekira Sudacne: *Grabs him*
Matt: "Let go of me, Aliza."
Nekira Sudacne: as he tries to leave "I was not insulting you, I was defining the problem. You yourself admited that you cannot explain it, that is the very definition of fanatisem, to have faith in something with no support. I was merely making that clear with emphasis. And you are responding in the usual way to such accusations, rather than confront the fact of it, attempt to leave the source of the conflict. I may be animate, but I in no way insulted your intelligence, and you have no reason to be offended"
[20:54] Matt: *frowns noticably but doesn't turn around to face her* "You have no right, Aliza, to talk to me of fanaticism. Your previous actions speak louder than your words right now. What you have done, you did because you wanted to and did not care about the consequences of them. You would degrade yourself, allow others to brutalize you and degrade you. Your past haunts you now, and as such, you are no more allowed to pass judgement on me than any other street walker or lady of the night. Touch by a god, you may be, but that does not release you from your past. If nothing else, it only seems to exemplify it."
[20:56] Matt: "And whether you intended to be insulting or not, you have. I admit that I have now done the same, however, I at least apologized for my words and my beliefs to you. I do not see a point if all you will continue to do is insult me in kind."
[21:02] Nekira Sudacne: back
[21:06] Nekira Sudacne: "What gives anyone the right to judge anyone Elex? Regardless, i'm not judging you, i'm identifying something. You fit the definition of fanatisem. You said YOURSELF that you cannot explain any reason for it. Now when confronted with the fact, you attack my past. Well answer me this, how the hell does MY past change what YOU do with YOUR life? It dosn't, you know what I do dosn't effect this one bit, so that sheild dosn't work now does it? So I went overboard, that only means I know how to recognise it when I see it. You can't hide behind that because i'm not laying any blame at you, i'm challanging you to face the truth, because you know you can't hide from it forever. And look at how your acting? You are the epitome of politeness when I say terrible things to you, but heaven forbid I point out the one part of you that you know to be irrational, and NOW you say i'm a street walker and unworthy? That's beneath you and you know it"
[21:11] Matt: "Beneath me? Maybe it is, Aliza-san. Perhaps I am being too harsh and unjust with you... Regardlessly, my answer remains the same. Does it make sense? No, but then it again, who ever said it had to? Fanatic I may be, especially in regards to this. If I had merely told you that it was a choice I have made, as an individual, would you try to stop me then? Or would you continue to push and push and push until what many would consider to be the inevitable? Could you not just accept the fact that I refuse your advances because my heart belongs to another and I feel it wrong to engage in sexual activities with someone I do not love?"
[21:13] Nekira Sudacne: "I'm only asking you to stop and analyize why that is. If you cannot do that, then you are a fanatic, and I know you don't wnat to be a fanatic. I'm prepared to defend my life choices, in fact I have several times. Will you simply run from doing the same?"
[21:21] Matt: *sighs loudly* "... Fine. Let us analyze this, Aliza-san..." *turns around and looks at her, giving off the appearance of a man who has already given up* "I believe that sex is meant for those that you love and love you in return. It is as I was taught as a child, and that is all I had to go on until three years ago when I met the Lady Chu'Si. I had only a rudimentary understanding of sex, since I was only eight years old when my sensei began teaching me in solitude. Sex... was not something that we discussed often...."
[21:21] Matt: "The only time it was ever discussed was that there were demons and monsters who would use such tactics to lure their potential prey into a false sense of security before striking. It was then that I could not understand why I had been told one thing... and then taught something completely different. I avoid The Ladies advances for a long time because I believed it to be a trick, a deception, a lure. Rather than genuine feeling. It terrified me, she terrified me... you terrify me. You, Aliza-san, who can and does use sex in the way that demons do. I do not say that you do it all the time for I genuinely believe that there are those here that you love, and will love. However, I also know that for you... sex can be a means to an end..."
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "So you don't beleive I love you, is that it? If I didn't love you, i'd have let you go as just another guy who was uninterested"
[21:31] Matt: *jaw drops*
[21:32] Nekira Sudacne: "I'll admit, it's probablly not exsactly what you feel with Chu'si, because it's not what I feel for ringo. but that's what i mean. There are many kinds of love. That's why I'm so incessently persistant with you"
[21:35] Matt: *looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath* "Yet another woman..." *he repeats again* "Aliza-san... exactly what is it you feel then...? You exhibit none of the signs of someone who is in love... at least not in regards to me. You have, in fact, expressed the exact opposite. A sense of general disdain at times, and at other times a simple, almost childish sense of joy at making me uncomfortable... So then tell me... what is it that you feel?"
[21:37] Nekira Sudacne: "A deep and caring affection for a wonderful person. But every time I try to express it, you scorn my offering of affection" *shrugs* "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. But just because your deeply in the "i want to be with you forever" love, dosn't mean that deep affection and even sexual affection has to be off the tabel. Just ask Chu'si"
[21:38] Matt: "An excellent idea, Aliza-san... Let us." *goes over to the Dojo with Aliza to ask Chu'Si*
[21:39] Matt: (*cue the GM*)
[21:39] Misfit: What dojo? you are on Wormwood
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: yea
[21:40] Matt: (Right! Right!)
[21:40] Misfit: Chu'Si and thea are talking while Thea holds Turk. Thea looks up "Oh... I'll take Turk to get some air..." and meanders off
[21:40] Matt: ignore dojo part...
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: (They could be borrowing the Templars training grounds.)
[21:40] Misfit: Chu'Si looks from Aliza to Elex and back uncertainly
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: (that'd be hilarious)
[21:41] Nekira Sudacne: "Hello! We were just having a discussion on philosphy"
[21:41] Matt: *folds his arms over his chest and sighs* "Aliza-san has expressed certain... beliefs and fascinations... specifically towards me. We have come to get The Lady's opinion on the matter..."
[21:44] Misfit: She frowns and looks back and forth, pausing to eye Aliza warily then turns to Elex "We were never so..." she frowns. "We didn't worry so much about..." and pauses, obviously searching for the right words
[21:45] Nekira Sudacne: "Tell him the truth" she shrugs "You know the lug needs things spelled out plainly. I've been roundabout the past year and given him entirely the wrong impressions it seems. No sense for you to do the same"
[21:45] Matt: *blinks and raises an eyebrow, amazed that Chu'Si isn't pulling out her tomahawk at this very moment...*
[21:45] Matt: "What do you mean... 'Tell him the truth'...?"
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "The truth of her opinion on the matter"
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "What else would I mean?'
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "She was hesistating, obviously"
[21:46] Misfit: She takes elex hands. "Love... we never did it this way in the Shaded Fang. I do it for you." She frowns "But I don't want anyone else having your children... not while I live"
[21:47] Nekira Sudacne: "That's fine with me. If I do have children, they will be ringos"
[21:47] Matt: *ears jut back and his eyes narrow slightly*
[21:48] Misfit: (How does he jut his ears back? is he a donkey/elf hybrid?)
[21:49] Misfit: (Or a catguy-elf? Silvie would love that)
[21:49] Matt: (I jut my ears back when I'm expressing surprise...)
[21:49] Nekira Sudacne: (....how?)
[21:49] Misfit: Chu'Si looks progressively more worried as Elex looks
[21:49] Nekira Sudacne: (unless...YOUR part cat!)
[21:49] Misfit: (Matt's part donkey too!)
[21:49] Matt: (I could be...
)
[21:49] Misfit: (He really is an ass!)
[21:50] Matt: "You were going to wait to tell me this... when, exactly?"
[21:50] Misfit: She looks down "...Didn't think you were ready..."
[21:50] Nekira Sudacne: "She tried to tell you right away, Elex, I was there, you refused to listen for...much the same reasons I pointed out to you before"
[21:50] Matt: (Apparently I'm an ass and a pussy... now all I need is for someone to call me a dick today and I'll be a hermaphrodite)
[21:51] Nekira Sudacne: (You...live in texas in the service industry and no one's called you a dick today?)
[21:51] Matt: (Amazing, isn't it?)
[21:52] Matt: *looks at her silently for a long moment before taking his hand away and turning around and walking away slowly* "Obviously not..."
[21:52] Misfit: "Elex..."
[21:53] Nekira Sudacne: (*wonders when it'll sink in to matt that being an ass and a pussy without a dick just makes him a woman...*)
[21:53] Matt: "The Lady nearly took Erinti-san's head off at the neck when she expressed her affections... Aliza-san gives her opinion on the matter and also expresses similar affections... yet The Lady does nothing except defend Aliza-san..."
[21:53] Nekira Sudacne: *Grabs him* "remember that thing I said about needing to face issues instead of running away? What abot that huge speil about the love unto death you feel for her. Suddenly you don't love her? what the hell?"
[21:54] Nekira Sudacne: "Eritni wants your children, I don't"
[21:54] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns. "Aliza is not a threat... Not like that..."
[21:57] Matt: *spins around on Aliza, anger flashing across his face and through his third eye for all to sense* "OF COURSE I love her! I have dedicated MY LIFE to her! SHE would have to be the one to do this if the Shaded Fang was meant to be brought back, not I! I....." *looks at the two of them, mixed feelings of anger, remorse and shame* "I will not leave her side, I have made an oath to stay by her until one of us dies... And so I intend it to be so... I... just was not expecting... this..."
[21:58] Misfit: Chu'Si seems unsure what to say and unsure if she can touch Elex though she obviously wants to
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: "Then why are you walking away from her? How does that show your love for her?"
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: *uses TK to move Chu-si up aginst him, forcing elex to catch her in reflex* "Well if you two love each-other SHOW it you two goofs"
[21:59] Misfit: Chu'Si just blinks as she catches herself against Elex
[21:59] Matt: "It does not, Aliza-san. It...Oomph!" *catches Chu'Si*
[22:02] Nekira Sudacne: "If it dosn't show that you love her, don't do it! can't you see she's worried sick about you right now!"
[22:03] Misfit: "Elex... I still love you. I knew you could come when Ringo and I were on that dead world"
[22:04] Matt: *looks at her for a moment and then just hugs her* "I could not leave your side... even if I wanted to... Even if every part of my body and mind told me to run... my heart would bring me back to you... I just... don't know what to do..."
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Then be with her" *walks up* "But you heard her. Even she dosn't think that means that you can't have affection for other people"
[22:08] Misfit: Chu'Si just hugs Elex tight (damn, she's strong0
[22:09] Matt: (*crowd* How Strong is She!?)
[22:10] Misfit: (You has her sheet)
[22:10] Nekira Sudacne: (Strong enough your getting your pancreas fused with your spleen)
[22:12] Matt: *grunts slightly under the pressure* "Aliza-san... at the moment, this changes very little... however, I will have to think upon this further... I am sorry for how I have treated you thus far."
[22:12] Misfit: "I... I want you to be happy. I don't want you to be with anyone else, but I am not afraid of Aliza"
[22:14] Nekira Sudacne: "Why hasn't anything changed? I think more's changed than you think"
[22:52] Matt: "One can not expect change instantly... That is Silvie-san's problem... change is never instant, and if it is, it is not genuine... Genuine change takes time, effort and faith..."
[22:53] Nekira Sudacne: "I don't. but every time I tried to show you, you walked away? I can't force it overnight, but the way you've been fighting it, I have to fight to get you to consider it at all"
[19:25] Matt: "I tried to be polite over the matter. Rather than being forceful and insulting, however, every time it happened... I could not think of a way to NOT be insulting..." *frowns* "It is complicated."
[19:29] Matt: "The way I was raised, a dignified silence was often better than being overly rude or inpolite..."
[19:41] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "So the way you were raised...was to ignore problems and walk away instead of solving them?"
[19:43] Matt: *frowns* "No, Aliza-san. I never ignored this... problem. It is merely that I was taught to not engage in such... behaviors, no encourage them."
[19:43] Matt: *nor
[19:44] Nekira Sudacne: "So you didn't ignore the problem, it's just that your solution was to walk away and ignore it?"
[19:44] Matt: "Never... ignored..."
[19:46] Matt: "It was just... I had no way of dealing with it, you often presented yourself, your arguments and your positions in rather... embarrasing and... provacative manners..."
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him, then at Chu'si, and sighs* "I think he has a lot to learn, if he can't even come up with a solution to it"
[19:48] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns. "You leave him little room sometimes..."
[19:51] Matt: "Aliza-san, I was not meant to ever achieve this point. I was... trained to destroy evil, I was taught to fight on par with creatures that wield vast powers and dark intentions... I was never... adequately trained in these more... personal graces. It is... a slow learning process."
[19:51] Nekira Sudacne: "So your master trained you to be a one dimensional killing machine. I'd have thought you'd be even more egar to try to branch out instead of turtling up"
[19:52] Matt: "Sensei trained me to destroy evil. That is what I was supposed to do... I had never planned on falling in love..."
[19:54] Matt: "Discipline, Honor, Truth, Justice... these were the precepts I was taught... Love was not something I was able to experience except from a familial stand-point..."
[19:55] Nekira Sudacne: "Soo...basically yes" *shakes her head* "I otta smack the fool"
[19:55] Matt: "Do not speak ill of my Sensei..."
[19:58] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him* "He trained you to fight evil, and did nothing to teach you how to live, love, enjoy life or do anything but fight evil and be honorable. If you can explain to me how that is the action of a responsible mentor, I will listen"
[20:00] Matt: "He taught me how to live, taught me some of the simplicities and complexities of life. However, he explained to me that he could never teach me how to love, or enjoy life... it was not his place to teach me those things. It was his place to tell me that I deserved to learn for myself."
[20:04] Nekira Sudacne: *shakes her head* 'Ah, I see. Did you not have parents?"
[20:04] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
[20:05] Matt: "I did, Aliza-san."
[20:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Did they try to teach you this stuff?"
[20:06] Matt: "They never had the opportunity to... by the time they had seen me, I was already in my mid twenties..."
[20:08] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "I see. So the problem seems to be you had a sensei when you needed a parent."
[20:10] Matt: "Perhaps, Ailiza-san... Perhaps that may have been the case. I have only but a few, scant, memories of my parents before I was taken under Sensei's guidance... I was still very young though when it happened."
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: "Well I don't think you want to go into the details, so I won't press harder. However, the fact remains that your sensei did not teach you everything you would need to know. So your defence that he didn't teach you to do it, well...it only works as long as you want to stick with it. If you want to grow and learn those things he didn't teach you..."
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: "i'd be happy to help"
[20:14] Matt: *frowns at her silently*
[20:15] Misfit: "She's not all wrong..."
[20:16] Matt: *blinks and glances over at Chu'Si* "And The Lady stands up for Aliza-san's position..."
[20:17] Misfit: She shakes her head. "Not all, but you... you're as bad with people as me"
[20:18] Nekira Sudacne: *smiles* See, I can help both of you"
[20:19] Matt: *frowns*
[20:19] Matt: "I feel like I am being set up..."
[20:21] Misfit: Chu'Si shakes her head
[20:21] Nekira Sudacne: "That's a common feeling when one realizes the ground they were standing on wasn't as firm as they thought it was. but I assure you, I havn't colaberated with Chu'si on any of this. half the time I don't even notice her"
[20:21] Nekira Sudacne: because she's usually with you *smiles*
[20:23] Matt: *raises an eyebrow* "Aliza-san is once again becoming firtatious..."
[20:24] Nekira Sudacne: (She is? That's one time she wasn't trying...)
[20:24] Matt: (It's Elex...)
[20:26] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "How?
[20:27] Matt: "Aliza-san has indicated that she fails to notice others when I am around..." *frowns thoughtfully* "Which means that Aliza-san is... enamored...?" *frown deepens*
[20:28] Nekira Sudacne: "Actually I was refering to the fact that you avoid me, Chu'si stays with you, so I don't see chu'si much"
[20:29] Matt: *coughs, sweatdrop*
[20:32] Misfit: (sorry, dinner and mom called)
[20:32] Matt: *also manages to turn slightly red with embarrasment at his own thoughts*
[20:34] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns and looks to Elex "You would?
[20:34] Matt: *shakes his head vehemently* "No, My Lady... However, my thoughts betrayed me... I expected something... more deviant from Aliza-san."
[20:38] Nekira Sudacne: back
[20:39] Nekira Sudacne: *shakes her head* "I already told you I have affection for you, i'm not sure why I would need to be subtle about it now. It's not love the way Chu'si feels about you, but still"
[20:39] Matt: *glances over at Chu'Si*
[20:41] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "It's affection, not much deeper than that. I like you, don't you like people?"
[20:42] Matt: "I..."
[20:42] Matt: *frowns* "I am unsure if I would phrase in the way that you just did..."
[20:42] Nekira Sudacne: *empathy*
[20:42] Nekira Sudacne: "So you don't like anyone..."
[20:43] Matt: deeply confused, uncertain, with a sense of growing indignation slapped with a healthy serving of caution.
[20:44] Misfit: Chu'Si doesn't like many, but she mostly has a food/not-food categorization. She's not fond of Aliza either, but worried for how Elex will do when she's gone
[20:45] Matt: "I would not say that. I enjoy others company, I am friends with several... I have many friends, people I care for..."
[20:46] Nekira Sudacne: "And it's hard to beleive I care for you?"
[20:49] Matt: *frowns* "... Perhaps, Aliza-san... That is a question that deserves to be pondered upon? Affections and caring are not the same thing... are they?"
[20:50] Misfit: Chu'Si "Sometimes..."
[20:52] Nekira Sudacne: "Depends on what you mean by them. Like any emotion based words, they can be laden with subtextual emotions" *looks at him* "Or preceived to mean more than they do"
[20:52] Matt: "I deserved that I guess..."
[20:54] Nekira Sudacne: "Ah, now we're reaching something. You claim that I frequently accuse you of things you didn't do. yet it seems to me you readialy read in negative connotations to anything I say"
[20:56] Matt: "Experience has taught me that... You have been less than kind, and despite my attempts at being civil and respectable in my interactions with you, you continued to be rude and insulting... repetatively..."
[21:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Your attempts at being civil and respectable are horrifically rude, has anyone ever told you that? Around here, turning around and walking away is as insulting as slapping me in the face. how did you THINK I would react to that?"
[21:04] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
[21:07] Matt: "I apologize, however, it fails to take into account the fact that the only reason I did that was because I had been treated in such a manner to begin with and did not want to further escalate the situation."
[21:08] Matt: (Brb, baby bath time)
[21:08] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "It's a self-feeding cycle. but an easy way to solve it"
[21:12] Misfit: "Not by sex" Chu'Si stares levely at Aliza
[21:15] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at her* "Now your reading too much into my words. I was refering to both apologisng"
[21:15] Misfit: She nods
[21:16] Matt: *folds his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at Aliza*
[21:16] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes?"
[21:16] Misfit: "Both of you apologize already"
[21:16] Matt: "Apologizing..."
[21:17] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes?" *sighs* "Fine, i'll start. I'm sorry you big lug. There"
[21:18] Matt: *nods* "Apology accepted, Aliza-san. I too, apologize for the way I have treated you."
[21:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Good" *Looks at Chu'si* "Though if he's off, limits, I could always have the makeup-sex with you" *Grins*
[21:20] Misfit: Her jaw drops in surprise and confusion
[21:20] Matt: *frowns*
[21:23] Nekira Sudacne: "I do apologise for teh terrible things i've said to you. But that dosnt' mean my offer is recinded. besides, Chu'si, you said yourself that it's not your clans way. You could help Elex and have a good time"
[21:23] Misfit: "Help Elex?"
[21:25] Nekira Sudacne: "Didn't you hear what our conversations been about? He dosn't know how to cope with such things. the only way to learn is by doing, sinse for good or ill, his past has never subjected him to such things. I know you worry for him, and it's best to learn while he has the chance to"
[21:26] Misfit: "You want me to make him jealous?"
[21:27] Nekira Sudacne: "No"
[21:28] Nekira Sudacne: "I want to show him why he dosn't have to be jealous"
[21:28] Misfit: "By being with you then him?
[21:28] Matt: *raises an eyebrow*
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "You have to admit it could work. what better way to show him that love trancends such things? You wouldn't love him any less would you?"
[21:30] Misfit: "No..."
[21:32] Nekira Sudacne: "Then what better way to prove your love to him is truely undying?"
[21:34] Matt: "Why should such a thing need to be put to a test. Aliza-san?"
[21:36] Nekira Sudacne: "If it's true and you are certain, it is not a test at all, merely embracing that there is more to life"
[21:40] Matt: *glances over at Chu'Si* "I will not make this choice for you..."
[21:40] Misfit: "If we don't need it?"
[21:43] Nekira Sudacne: "Who said it's about need Chu'si" *takes an easy step forward, nonthreateningly and even nonseductively "It's about living life, loving life and embracing it. if it can make you and Elex happy, and I know it can--and what's more, it can teach elex to not stress out over so many things, and I know you know that he takes so many things in stride. its not about need, it's about love, and wanting to be happy. You know you could enjoy that, he could too, and you would both benifit. It's not about rather or not you need to, it's about it helping you be even better than you are now, about being free to do what you want to and know it would make you both happier
[21:43] Misfit: She frowns and looks away while taking a step back
[21:44] Nekira Sudacne: *Spreads her arms* "I'm not forcing either of you. You both know i've passed up many opportunities to do so. I'm offering you both a chance to /volentarly/ do something to make your lives happier. is that so wrong?"
[21:46] Misfit: "...um..."
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "I know it's not wrong. you know it too" *empathy*
[21:47] Misfit: Guilt, uncertainty, fear for Chu'Si
[21:48] Matt: growing increasingly cautious, he's closing up emotionally, "
[21:48] Nekira Sudacne: "It's a need people have. it's not wrong to fufil it."
[21:48] Matt: (Wait... Guilt...?)
[21:51] Misfit: (Yep)
[21:53] Matt: (o.O)
[21:58] Misfit: Chu'Si steals a glance at Elex
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: (Does she answer what aliza said?
[21:58] Matt: *is watching her intently*
[21:59] Misfit: Nope
[22:00] Misfit: "I...she..." Chu'Si takes a breath and looks squarely at elex while taking a deep breath. "You cannot give me everything I.... desire..."
[22:01] Matt: "Aliza-san... in regards to needs that are fulfilled... I would say that the Lady Chu'Si and I are... fairly...s-sa..." *blinks*
[22:02] Misfit: "No, not that..."
[22:03] Matt: *takes a long, drawn out, deep breath and folds his arms over his chest before exhaling slowly*
[22:04] Nekira Sudacne: *decides to give them a bit of time to come to terms with what was just said*
[22:07] Misfit: As in Aliza exits?
[22:08] Nekira Sudacne: more elex realizing chu'si isn't as satsified as he is
[22:08] Misfit: Right. But does she stay?
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: of course
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: She'll wait a few moments
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: lot a long time
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: *watches them stare at each-other* "Now you see why I offer. I know I can help, if you two give me the chance"
[22:12] Matt: *glances over at Aliza, it's a scathing, hurt-angry look*
[22:13] Matt: (And here comes Elex's LESS-than-dignified Silence act...)
[22:14] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him calmly* "What are you mad at me for? I didn't do anything"
[22:16] Matt: "Your not helping now Aliza-san..." *calmly, evenly, coolly...*
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Obviously. You two arn't saying anything. but don't mind me, stare at each-other in akward silence, i'm sure it'll get the job done"
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: *goes and sits down quietly and proceeds to fade*
[22:20] Nekira Sudacne: (Mental invisibility. she's still there but they are ignoring her presence)
[22:20] Matt: *looks back over to Chu'Si* "An explanation, My Lady."
[22:20] Misfit: Don't they have to save?
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: They technically have to save aginst empathy, telepathy and just about everything else too.
[22:21] Matt: (I think at a -2_
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: I read it more as if they are really trying to notice her or your sneaking past guards tehy get a save
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: but even if they see her, so what, she's sitting quietly
[22:22] Matt: true... it really doesn't matter here...
[22:23] Misfit: She takes a breath
[22:24] Misfit: "I... learned things with Ringo... before and after we rescued that doll of Anna's... I...
[22:26] Matt: *stoically listens* "Such as, My Lady?"
[22:28] Misfit: "Things you cannot give me, rough sex... not love, or even passion. Animal sex, violent and fierce... Not like Aliza's games..."
[22:29] Matt: "More secrets..."
[22:30] Nekira Sudacne: (She dosn't know all of aliza's games)
[22:30] Nekira Sudacne: (obviously)
[22:31] Matt: (Obviously not.)
[22:31] Misfit: (Or Aliza misses her meaning)
[22:31] Nekira Sudacne: (No, she understands)
[22:31] Nekira Sudacne: (She means she dosn't need aliza's mind/sex games with people's hearts)
[22:32] Matt: (Or that Chu'Si and Ringo literally beat the fuck right out of each other while engaging in it)
[22:32] Misfit: (Ding)
[22:33] Nekira Sudacne: (That was my point. aliza can do that if she wants...)
[22:33] Nekira Sudacne: (Tell me she couldn't)
[22:33] Misfit: (But she hasn't, at least party because she's had no call to)
[22:34] Nekira Sudacne: (True)
[22:34] Nekira Sudacne: (but she's willing to learn)
[22:34] Matt: "You never even bothered to tell me... when I searched for you... yearned for you... feared for your loss... I was as a man possessed to find you! And you wait... no... not wait... -hide- it from me..."
[22:35] Matt: "And with Ringo..."
[22:35] Misfit: "You were gone months. I was alone with Ringo months with nothing...."
[22:35] Misfit: (Party because time travel makes her go crosseyed again)
[22:37] Matt: "You decieved me."
[22:38] Matt: "Phrase it however you like, justify it however you wish... this was deception."
[22:38] Misfit: "I didn't want to hurt you..."
[22:38] Nekira Sudacne: (Techncially you didn't ASK if I screwed like a horney dirty rabbit)
[22:39] Matt: "You hid the fact from me... I think... It would have hurt less if you had just told me when I found you... I would not have even cared! But now..."
[22:42] Misfit: "I'm sorry... I was so happy to see you... I thought it wouldn't matter anymore..."
[22:43] Matt: *clenches at first and tightens his lips*
[22:46] Nekira Sudacne: ("So, did you do it again aFTER I found you?)
[22:46] Matt: "And... afterwards...?"
[22:46] Misfit: "Afterwards?"
[22:47] Matt: "After we rescued you three..."
[22:48] Misfit: *SMACK!*
[22:48] Misfit: "When I knew you were on that world, I gave that man nothing!'
[22:48] Misfit: Elex, ow
[22:50] Matt: *takes a deep breath* "Good day, My Lady..." *turns and starts walking away*
[22:51] Misfit: "Elex... please..."
[22:53] Matt: "My Lady, if you will excuse me... right now, I in more pain and hurting greater than any sword, knife, blade, arrow, sling or modern arm has caused me... So... If you will excuse me..."
[22:53] Misfit: She collapses to her knees as Elex walks off
[22:54] Nekira Sudacne: *suddenly speaks up*
[22:55] Nekira Sudacne: "So your solution is to inflict the greater pain of guilt onto your loved one? If you walk out, you'll hurt even more than what your feeling now" she says and stands up
[22:55] Nekira Sudacne: *you'll hurt her even more than what your feeling now
[22:56] Matt: *stops and turns his head to glance over his shoulder askance, a stream of tears rolling down his eyes*
[22:57] Nekira Sudacne: *walks forward* "I know what I am asking of you. I ask you to see thogh those teers and see the same tears reflecting in Chu'si's eyes."
[19:22] Matt: "Tell me, Aliza-san..." *turns his head away again* "... If the roles in this situation were reversed..."
[19:23] Nekira Sudacne: "What do you mean "if"? Arn't you forgeting the other man is ringo, MY lover? I _AM_ in this situation right with you!"
[19:24] Misfit: Bwah! ha Ha Ha!
[19:24] Matt: "Ringo..." *clenches his fist* "Ringo is a scoundrel, and you have not been his only lover..."
[19:25] Nekira Sudacne: "So you admit that the situation /has/ been reversed and I already have handled it. So...the answer to your question is "Yes, it has been reversed". Were you going to finish that sentance?"
[19:28] Matt: "Ringo has not been your only lover, either... "
[19:28] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes. So what was your question, how do I handle it? Well, didn't you just answer the question?"
[19:28] Matt: "I meant, how would you expect Chu'Si to act if it had been me in her position... and we will say, for argument's sake, YOU in Ringo's place..."
[19:28] Nekira Sudacne: "but no, i'll tell you teh answer"
[19:29] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at chu'si, then at you*
[19:29] Nekira Sudacne: "Didn't this conversation start with her telling you that her clan does it differently and that me being with you would not be a threat to her relationship with you?"
[19:31] Matt: *glances over at her again* "Of course... How appropriate. To be in the wrong... again..." *starts walking again*
[19:32] Nekira Sudacne: *the doors slam and lock*
[19:32] Nekira Sudacne: "So what was that about loving her no matter what?"
[19:34] Misfit: Chu'Si looks up to Elex
[19:35] Matt: "I do love her... and that is why I now suffer. I suffer because of my love for her... I suffer because my heart is breaking over this... this.... Deception!" *turns around, losing control of his third eye as a wave of anger and sorrow, intense pain washes out from him* "I was LIED TO! Decieved!"
[19:36] Nekira Sudacne: "And your handling it like a child, walking away instead of trying to resolve the issue. Ask yourself "Why did this happen" and "What can we do about it". Instead of storming off to do NOTHING about it"
[19:41] Matt: "Why...? Why did this happened? Because of... what? I fell short in my obligations to My Lady. I can not do what it is that Ringo did to her, I could never do that. And So... rather than tell me, upfront, honestly... she chose to hide it from me... to decieve me and abuse my trust!" *closes his eyes and clenches his teeth and his fists, trying to restrain himself* "What, exactly, what can be done about it...? I do not know! I must think about this... and you making some sort of feeble attempt to keep me from doing so isn't going to work..."
[19:42] Misfit: Chu'Si rises. "I did not know until... Ringo and I were in that place together for months"
[19:44] Nekira Sudacne: "I'm not preventing you from thinking about it. unless you are saying you can only think where you can't actually act on your thoughts. besides, you will have to discuss it with her anyway, and if you leave, you will hurt her worse"
[19:47] Matt: *looks at her through his tears, his pain clearly etched across his face, making his usual calm and elven features marred* "It hurts, Chu'Si... it hurts so bad I wish for nothing more at this point than for it to end... How can I accept what has happened now? When I look upon you... all I can see now is you and him, in my head..."
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: "You forgive" *shrugs* "That or you break two hearts instead of one"
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: "You can try to cry and wish you could find another option. but you can't. That's how it is. You know in your heart that's how it is too."
[19:51] Nekira Sudacne: "Mercy isn't the easy path. But you know it to be the correct one"
[19:54] Matt: *glares at aliza*
[19:57] Matt: "Your words are hard to hear beyond my tarnished honor and my broken heart..."
[19:59] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns and takes a deep breath
[20:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Okay. So be cruel. That's the obvious thing your sensei wanted you to be when he taught you those values, yes?"
[20:03] Matt: *laughs bitterly* "You would know all about it, Aliza..."
[20:04] Nekira Sudacne: "I didn't cause this situation, Elex. This would have come out eventually. I'm only forcing you to deal with it instead of running from it"
[20:06] Matt: *slumps to his knees, looking like he is just sick of standing* "I hate this..."
[20:06] Matt: *spoke quietly and in an exasperated manner*
[20:09] Nekira Sudacne: "Life's a bitch" Aliza murmurs sympathetically
[20:10] Nekira Sudacne: ("And i'm a bitch. Obviously I am the source of all life!)
[20:10] Matt: *leans forward and places his head onto the ground, weeping silently... This is definitely his Monday*
[20:11] Misfit: Chu'Si takes a step towards Elex, very uncertainly "I love you. We have a son. We. Us. you and me"
[20:11] Nekira Sudacne: *empathy*
[20:11] Matt: Elex is emotionally spent, he feels drained, empty...
[20:12] Matt: He spent his anger, now all he can feel is a creeping empty sorrow.
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: So. he's empty and not resisting right?
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: *uses empathetic transmission love to help him cope with the emptiness*
[20:13] Matt: Not resisting, he just doesn't know what to do...
[20:13] Matt: (Should I even roll a save for this?)
[20:14] Misfit: Chu'Si pulls Elex in an embrace
[20:14] Nekira Sudacne: (only if he tries to resist feeling love)
[20:15] Matt: *holds her and just cries, gripping her tightly* "It hurts..."
[20:15] Misfit: "I know..."
[20:18] Matt: "I can not do it... I just can't... I just wish... you had... told me..."
[20:20] Nekira Sudacne: "Is forgiving someone who wronged you truely too much for a cyber knight to do?"
[20:21] Matt: "I must... I want to forgive her... I can not... do to her what Ringo did..."
[20:23] Nekira Sudacne: "You do not have to bear the weight of everything alone or do everything yourself"
[20:25] Matt: "That is the weight of my title... to bear the troubles and wrongs of the world on our shoulders... "
[20:25] Nekira Sudacne: "But not alone"
[20:26] Misfit: "Don't want you to do that to me. It makes you better than Ringo"
[20:27] Matt: *sighs* "I am so tired..."
[20:28] Misfit: "I know. Just hold me"
[20:28] Nekira Sudacne: *lets them have their moment*
[20:28] Matt: *holds her tightly, like he's using what strength he has to do it*
[20:29] Misfit: She hugs Elex back "Our love is all that matters"
[20:31] Matt: "Yes... My Lady... "
[20:31] Matt: "I am so sorry... I love you..."
[20:59] Nekira Sudacne: *after letting them hug and hold for a while* "Feeling any better?"
[21:09] Matt: "A little... Aliza-san... I am still... in pain..."
[21:09] Nekira Sudacne: "Only time will cure that"
[21:09] Nekira Sudacne: "But the question still remains...what now?"
[21:10] Matt: "We move forward..."
[21:11] Misfit: Chu'Si nods "We do"
[21:12] Nekira Sudacne: *nods* "but how? The elephant is still in the room"
[21:12] Misfit: Chu'Si blinks and looks around for an elephant
[21:12] Misfit: Vdery confused
[21:14] Matt: "I... do not know..."
[21:18] Nekira Sudacne: *sighs* "The cause of this is still undaressed. Unless Chu'si honestly beleives she can live forever without it"
[21:19] Misfit: Chu'Si shrugs "Won't live forever..."
[21:20] Nekira Sudacne: "Try 50 years then. Honestly think about it."
[21:25] Matt: *frowns* "I knew it would happen eventually... there are things I can not do, things I will not do... honestly, much of my pain comes for the fact that I can not... and the fact nobody told me the truth..."
[21:26] Misfit: Chu'Si looks down in pain and shame again
[21:27] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "I am an expert in how to deal with sexual needs your lovers can't handle. why do you think I left ringo, then"
[21:28] Matt: *shrugs at Aliza*
[21:29] Misfit: Chu;Si blinks
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "So, if you want to hear the voice of experiance..."
[21:33] Misfit: Chu'Si "Elex?"
[21:34] Matt: *looks at aliza for a few moments before nodding slightly*
[21:34] Matt: "Go on..."
[21:39] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at Chu'si straight in the eyes* "You will never be free of it. It will eat at you, slowly, driving you more and more deserpate. eventually it will find an outlet the only way you allow it to. Which will likely mean you begin to get rough when having sex with elex. and you know how that would work"
[21:42] Misfit: "What do we do then?"
[21:42] Nekira Sudacne: "Find a safe way to vent it, or it will destroy you"
[21:53] Matt: *looks to Chu'Si on that note*
[21:54] Misfit: "Vent it?"
[21:54] Nekira Sudacne: "You need rough sex. If you don't get it, it will destroy you. Elex can't give it to you"
[21:55] Misfit: She frowns. "And I come to you?"
[21:57] Nekira Sudacne: "I can give it to you if you want. Other people can as well. The question isn't what you can do" *looks to elex* "It's how much you will let her do"
[21:58] Matt: "She must do this. I could not deny this of her, for to do otherwise would be to deny her... I just... would like to know about beforehand..."
[21:59] Nekira Sudacne: "Drop box" *smiles*
[21:59] Misfit: "Drop box?"
[21:59] Matt: *frowns* "Poor attempt..."
[22:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Wait, here me out"
[22:01] Nekira Sudacne: "As we saw when this came out, her...needs, get worse when your not around. That means that, logically, she is most likely to have these needs when your not around to give her normal sex. So if she has to tell you beforehand, then arn't you then effectively denying her release at the time she needs it most?"
[22:02] Matt: "I will not stand for this deception a second time, Aliza-san..."
[22:02] Nekira Sudacne:
"I didn't say that"
[22:03] Nekira Sudacne: "What i'm saying is, well, why does she need to ask you for permission every time. is it not enough that she tells you as soon as she is able to?"
[22:03] Matt: *frowns*
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Another point. You admit she needs this. So why do you insist she asks permission? Will you tell her no? If you will tell her no, why would you deny her what you know she needs? And if you will simply say yes anyways, then why not say yes /now/ and be done with it?"
[22:05] Matt: "So am I simply expected to stand by, idle, while she goes off and does this again? How is that any different from what has already happened?"
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "She would do it with your blessing."
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Or do you not wanting her doing it?"
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "and if not, didn't you already say she must/"
[22:06] Matt: *nods* "She must..."
[22:06] Matt: "Just... not with Ringo... Ever..."
[22:07] Nekira Sudacne: "Why not? He is the most qualified, for all his many....many...." 8sighs* "many faults"
[22:08] Matt: "Not him. I will not argue this point for any reason..."
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: "It dosn't have to be him. but logic is not a great thing to ask of a man of reason. Not exsamining your emotions is not /healthy/. All your doing is displaying jealousy. That will be poison. how do we know you won't do the same to any other person?"
[22:11] Matt: "Because, Ringo would simply abuse her. He cares not for her, or her well being."
[22:12] Matt: "If she must engage in this sort of thing, and we know she must, I would prefer it to be with someone who..." *frowns*
[22:13] Nekira Sudacne: *frowns* "I should slap you. Ringo does care, in his own way. You didn't think /i/ cared either, but would I be going though all this trouble if I didn't honestly care? I do. and Ringo does care for Chu'si, in his own way. He cares in his own way for every woman he has ever had. even when he'd rather not, he can't help it. it's his nature"
[22:15] Matt: *frowns slightly*
[22:15] Nekira Sudacne: "And if you don't beleive that, think of this"
[22:17] Nekira Sudacne: "They were stuck for months, alone, togeather, with only a broken doll of a person with them at the time. They had no choice but to learn to work togeather. Human nature in a crsis situation forms bonds in that situation" *Looks at Chu'si* "He did seem to genuinely care, in his own way, did he not? as twisted as it sometimes is"
[22:17] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns "Think so..."
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Ringo cares. Otherwise he'd have thrown all the orphans out of his home"
[22:20] Matt: *sighs*
[22:20] Matt: "I can not argue against it..."
[22:21] Matt: "Except that it is... angering..."
[22:21] Matt: "It is like a reminder..."
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: "Except that you are jealous. It's a poisonous emotion"
[22:24] Matt: "*frowns* "I must have my honor restored for this to be possible... Ringo defaced my honor..."
[22:24] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
Nekira Sudacne: "Umm, sure?" *would probablly be lounging on her favorite couch*
Matt: *straightens up slightly and takes a deep breath before speaking* "I would appreciate it, if from now you, you ceased in your derrogatory incinuations in regards to how some of us act. Judging us all as a whole, for the actions of the few, is not necessarily the best course of actions."
Nekira Sudacne: "I see you missed the point then" *looks over at him*
Matt: "I did not, Aliza-san..." *shakes his head* "This is not the first time you have said something decidedly and intentionally hurtful towards someone who did not deserve it."
Nekira Sudacne: "Then i'm right, you have missed the point" *sighs*
Nekira Sudacne: "The point is that this is how the rest of the city sees us. We live togeather. We're a crew. If one person does something bad, it means the city DOES see it as exsactly the same as if you did it yourself. There is no difference, the fact that you had nothing to do with it does NOT matter in the slightest. you WILL get the blame"
Matt: *bristles up* "That is a point of concern I have already considered. Yet it has little to do with YOUR words to us, Aliza-san. Stating 'You morons' when you speak only to me is not only pointless but needlessly hurtful."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks slowly* "Wait, you were offended by that?"
Matt: *frowns* "Why did you think I stopped speaking to you and then decided to quickly leave your presence shortly there after, Aliza-san?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Because you usually do that whenever we talk"
Matt: "Because you are usually insulting and derrogatory when we speak. I am asking you to stop doing that... I do not deserve your harshness nor have I done anything to have acquired it."
Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "I only do it because I like you, Elex"
Matt: *blinks... slowly... again...* "I... uh... what?"
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "Do I have to get a neon sign to show you that? I got NAKED for you on several occasions. and you didn't ASK me to even!"
Matt: *blinks* "You have gotten naked for everyone here... Aliza-san... I know you have done much more with some of them as well..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I do it when they want me to. I did it to make you want me to..."
Matt: (Honestly a shocked moment here...) "Aliza-san..." *frowns and seems decidedly confused* "I... do not understand that. Why?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Why do I like you? Gee" *stands up and walks twords him* "Your smart, intelligent, and have a good heart"
Matt: *frowns* "And unavailable, Aliza-san. I know Juarez is short of good men... but that is not a problem I would be able to help you with..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I noticed. That's why I do I waht do to you"
Matt: (That's why I do I waht do to you? Translation please...)
Nekira Sudacne: "I know your not interested, that's why I do what you were talking about")
Matt: "You do it... because I am not available? You will... excuse me, Aliza-san, if I fail to see the purpose in that..." *frowns* "It is Aliza-san though... And there is much that confuses me about Aliza-san..."
Nekira Sudacne: "The purpose is to try to convince you to change your mind. What's confusing about me? I'm a very simple woman" *poses*
Matt: "Change my mind...about you?" *frowns*
Nekira Sudacne: "Well...yes. Why woulnd't I want you to change your mind"
Matt: "Multiple reasons, Aliza-san. Prior to your... change... you were Ringo-san's. Now you belong to Ashera. My heart belongs to the Lady Chu'Si and will until the time comes for her to leave this plane of existence."
Nekira Sudacne: "What does belonging to the Lady have to do with it?" *blinks uncomprehendingly* "she WANTS me to act like this"
Matt: "..."
Nekira Sudacne: *Grins and walks up* "Did you miss the part where i'm supposed to convert people to her worship? How am I gonna do that if I DON'T try to change people's minds?"
Matt: *shakes his head and seems to breath a huge sigh of relief* "That is not an excuse, Aliza-san. Your activities were as such prior to you being found by religion..."
Nekira Sudacne: "....did you ever consider the fact that the goddess chose ME precicely because my previous actions are perfectly in alignment with her religion? because that's how it works. I was promoted from human to angel because I embodied her tenants without even knowing about her"
Matt: *frowns and sighs, pinching his nose* "Aliza-san... you are the most complex woman I have ever met before in my entire life. You claim nakedness as a course of action because you wished me to want you... yet you know that to be impossible, for my heart belongs to another. Ashera, whom-so-ever she is, is not my faith, not my belief..."
Nekira Sudacne: "...hence the part about trying to convince you to accept it as your beleif..."
Matt: *shakes his head* "I can not. I apologize, Aliza-san. Unless you can show me a side of Ashera beyond wanton lust and sexual desire... I find nothing that would entice me into such a belief system..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I took you in for no real reason didn't I? Arn't I volenteering at clnics now? seeking to clean up the city?"
Matt: *raises an eyebrow* "You... volunteering at clinics? First I have heard of it..."
Nekira Sudacne: 'Do you announce every good deed you do to the public at large? Why should I?"
Matt: "I did announce the establishment of the Shae os si Shadi Dojo... to the public. However, your point is well taken..."
Nekira Sudacne: "You just happen to be a man not in need of chairty"
Matt: *crosses his arms over his chest* "Perhaps it is time you explain Ashera to me then..."
Nekira Sudacne: "She was once the mother goddess, now she is barely emerging from slumber. She is the symbol of fertility, but also of Strength, and motherhood. her symbols are teh supporting pillar and the lion, which she rides. She teaches that we should help good things grow, people as well. this city is locked in a cycle of death. We shall see to that. She also beleives that that which is truely bad and destructed must be rooted out, by force if necessarcy. Sex begets life, and should be practiced freely"
Matt: "I... see..." *frowns* "She sounds like a benevolent enough being..."
Matt: "Or... at least, a force for good."
Nekira Sudacne: "She is"
Nekira Sudacne: "Though make no mistake" she walks up and looks him in the eye* "Hell Hath No Fury like a Woman scorned..."
Matt: "Though I can approve of some of her precepts... Strength, motherhood, helping things grow, the support of life and the destruction of evil... I will not claim her as my own for I have sworn an oath to a different purpose."
Nekira Sudacne: "That's okay. I think she can make certain...accomadations for Cyber Knights"
Matt: *raises an eyebrow*
Matt: "Perhaps..."
Nekira Sudacne: "She does not demand exclusive worship or service from everyone. She was once part of an entire patheon after all. It is possible to serve a different goal and still follow her as you may and be friendly"
Matt: "Your definition of friendly, Aliza-san?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Hers. Or whatever you are willing to give"
Matt: "I will give thanks to her, if only in my own heart and words, for giving you a higher purpose other than your own self-destruction, Aliza-san. For that I am very grateful for."
Nekira Sudacne: "I...must admit. If you are truely grateful, a tangible benifit would be greatly appriciated. Like all religions, hers must ultimately be funded by the faithful and those who support her. I am trying to build a temple, but I am not as rich as I can sometimes seem, and I did not receive any part of that priate guys treasure hoard as I did not participate"
Matt: *frowns* "And we come to yet another impasse. Much of my money has been used in funding and supplying the dojo. However, there is still a possibility..." *reaches into his leather vest and tosses her a small pounch, it only weighs about a pound though* "It is gold... and it is a start, Aliza-san. You might wish to consult with Anna-san as well. There is still much from that escapade that we have not even considered doing anything with... The others seem to have not bothered with them. However, Anna-san and I have kept track of it all..."
Nekira Sudacne: *smiles* "Every little bit adds up"
Nekira Sudacne: "thank you"
Nekira Sudacne: *suddenly gives him a hug*
Matt: *just stands there, like hugging a plank of wood* "You are welcome, Aliza-san.... Please do not try to kiss me..."
Nekira Sudacne: "No" she says before giving you a playful kiss on the nose and grins*
Matt: "Ack!"
Matt: *pulls back*
Nekira Sudacne: *lets you go laughing*
Nekira Sudacne: "It's not like I was gonna EAT it, Elex..."
Matt: "Ugh... Aliza-san... I do so dislike when you do such things to me..."
Nekira Sudacne: "Why can't you find the joy in play?"
Matt: "Aliza-san, you and I have a very different idea of what defines play... to an extent."
Nekira Sudacne: "Do you even HAVE a definition of play?"
Matt: *nods* "Hai, Aliza-san. I do. I enjoy a nice cup of green tea over a game of Go with a skilled opponent."
Nekira Sudacne: "The best games dont' involve boards, they involve people just having fun with each-other"
Matt: *shakes his head* "I am still not at that point yet. I am aware of that..."
Nekira Sudacne: "And you'll never be at that point if you don't ever try"
Matt: "Yes, Aliza-san, I have gone out and had fun... it is just not... something I am totally comfortable with yet..."
Matt: "You all simply have such a very different idea of what is enjoyable and fun. I enjoy Go, singing... floral arrangments..."
Nekira Sudacne: "And i'm trying to broaden that veiw"
Matt: *shrugs slightly* "You may try, Aliza-san. Far be it for me to stop you from accomplishing something good and worthy such as broadening someone elses view point."
Nekira Sudacne: "But you are constantly telling me to stop doing just that"
Matt: "No, Aliza-san. I am constantly telling you to stop trying to entice me through lewd acts and vulgar language. That is all. I am slowly coming to terms with the body and those who use it as a form of expression so... freely... but I know it is far from finished and that I still have a long road ahead of me."
Nekira Sudacne: "And how would stop exposing you to such things help you on your journey to improvement, when it is those very things that you need to adapt to in the first place?"
Matt: *opens his mouth... then closes it... holds up a finger and tries to speak but closes his mouth again... deep frown...*
Nekira Sudacne: *smiles and walks up* "Why DO you resist. You know there is only one way to accept it, and that's the way you accept anything. to simply breath and do it, and cease to worry or think about it
Matt: "Allow me to express my worry, Aliza-san. I will worry about your advances. It violates a point of honor that should never be crossed to me."
Nekira Sudacne: "And what point is that?"
Matt: "I took a vow, an oath, that I would only break upon her death... That I would stay by her side and remain loyal to her and her alone..." *frowns solemnly* "That is the point of honor..."
Nekira Sudacne: "I don't want your loyalty, I just want to have sex with you!"
Matt: "And I am telling you, there is only one I will engage in such activities with...!" *frowns* "You may be better off talking to the Lady Chu'Si..."
Nekira Sudacne: "You still havn't explained how having sex would violate your oath."
Matt: "I swore that it would be her, and only her, that I would engage in such activities with."
Nekira Sudacne: "really? I don't think that's how the ceremony goes. If I recall correctly it goes more "To have and to hold as long as you both shall ive?"
Matt: *blinks and frowns* "What ceremony is that?"
Nekira Sudacne: "Wedding ceremony. or if you arn't married, just what oath DID you take?"
Matt: "It is... complicated. I know the word marriage and what the Lady Chu'Si and I did was something similar... however, we are bound to each other without exception to others."
Nekira Sudacne: "I have time. Explain it"
Matt: *sighs* "We dedicate ourselves to each other completely. When one of us is lost, it is as though a deep part of us is missing. It is a feeling of being incomplete... "
Matt: "When Ringo-san and the Lady Chu'Si were trapped in that hellish dimension... that is how it felt, it felt as though I was no longer complete until I had made contact with her."
Nekira Sudacne: "And what does that have to do with sex?"
Matt: "It is... an intimate engagement. Not meant as something casual or frivolous..."
Nekira Sudacne: "So your engaged but not married?"
Matt: "I meant sex, Aliza-san."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "What...on earth...makes you think Sex is a casual thing for me?"
Matt: "Aliza-san, there is no other explanation for your continual advances. You merely wish to... have... sex... with me because your find me attractive. That is all! There is no emotion behind it! You can not love me! You would do it, for the sole purpose of doing it! If I ever consented to such an act, I would fully expect the Lady Chu'Si to take my head! Or I would personal shove the knife into my stomach for doing such a dishonor to the woman I love..."
Nekira Sudacne: *blinks* "No...really...You thought so little of me? I'm offended. I wish to have sex with you because sex is a /glorious/ thing! there is much honor to be had in it!"
Matt: *frowns* "Aliza-san..." *takes a step back* "At times, you can strike me as a very intelligent, well intentioned, good hearted human being. At other times... you make absolutely no sense to me what-so-ever. While I can agree with you that it is something wonderful, it gave me a son. I believe that it is also something special that should not be shared freely, but shared with much weighted thought and feeling behind it..." *sighs* "I wish Chu'Si was here... this would be so much easier... yet another woman..." *shakes his head*
Nekira Sudacne: *frowns and suddenly slaps Elex* "You dishonorable wretch. You should be ruling the weak, not helping them, what kind of foolishness do you think your doing!"
Nekira Sudacne: *pauses* "Oh, i'm sorry, I guess telling someone their entire lifes philosphy is something they should kill themselves over is only something YOUR allowed to do"
Matt: *glares* "You put words in my mouth, Aliza...san. I said no such thing."
Nekira Sudacne: "If I told you I would kill myself if I ever protected teh weak and innocent for commiting such a dishonorable act, how would you take it?"
Matt: "Now who is not accepting another person's view point?"
Nekira Sudacne: "I did not say I did not accept it, I said you said it in just about the rudest, most offensive way imagineable"
Nekira Sudacne: "I only insult certain things you do. Have I ever told you i'd rather kill myself than be like you?"
Matt: "You did, Aliza-san. You once told me you would rather die than be as big of a stick in the mud as I was."
Matt: "And as we have found out already... I do take you seriously when you say those things."
Nekira Sudacne:
The difference is you know I joke. when you said that you were completely serious"
Matt: "No, Aliza-san. I believed, for a long time, that you thought very little of me. Because I was so unlike you. I believed that you actually had pity for me, because I was so unlike you. The things that made me strong, you saw as me being a weakling, a fool, a moron and an idiot... Prior to five minutes ago, I believed you had absolutely no respect or consideration for me, what-so-ever. Now, you tell me, Aliza-san, who has been judged more harshly? I at least never told you that I would kill you, you on the other hand, have stated it already once before..."
Nekira Sudacne: "Would you not say you would kill me if I was fighting Chu'si?"
Matt: "I would not. Chu'Si does not need me to defend her."
Matt: *takes a deep breath and sighs it out* "Aliza-san, I apologize for insulting you, it was not my intent. It was, however, something that's severity needed to be expressed..."
Matt: "I did not wish to come here to fight you... again..."
Nekira Sudacne: "eh" *shrugs* "You still havn't explained why you beleive sex isn't something to be shared. Joy multiplies as it is spread yes? So how would spreading it, in any way diminish what you have with Chu'si? It would not, you only got the idea in your head somehow, but I don't think you can really explain to me why you are so certain of it."
Matt: "Can I? No. I can not. It is something that was instilled to me when I was a child that adhered through decades... " *sighs* "this is actually something that is very confusing for me... when the time comes, I will have to break that vow... and so will she... I know it will happen... which is why I think you should talk to her, moreso than I."
Nekira Sudacne: "Fanatic idea with no support. At least you can't accuse me of the same fanatisem. I embraced this on my own well before I found religion. You are following blindly what you were taught, and you don't even have a REASON to assume it's true, especially when the fact that there are plenty of loving open relationships that PROVE, beyond question, that it's entirely possible to be free and just as loving"
Matt: "You are right, Aliza-san. Of course. Good day." *turns and leaves*
Nekira Sudacne: *Grabs him*
Matt: "Let go of me, Aliza."
Nekira Sudacne: as he tries to leave "I was not insulting you, I was defining the problem. You yourself admited that you cannot explain it, that is the very definition of fanatisem, to have faith in something with no support. I was merely making that clear with emphasis. And you are responding in the usual way to such accusations, rather than confront the fact of it, attempt to leave the source of the conflict. I may be animate, but I in no way insulted your intelligence, and you have no reason to be offended"
[20:54] Matt: *frowns noticably but doesn't turn around to face her* "You have no right, Aliza, to talk to me of fanaticism. Your previous actions speak louder than your words right now. What you have done, you did because you wanted to and did not care about the consequences of them. You would degrade yourself, allow others to brutalize you and degrade you. Your past haunts you now, and as such, you are no more allowed to pass judgement on me than any other street walker or lady of the night. Touch by a god, you may be, but that does not release you from your past. If nothing else, it only seems to exemplify it."
[20:56] Matt: "And whether you intended to be insulting or not, you have. I admit that I have now done the same, however, I at least apologized for my words and my beliefs to you. I do not see a point if all you will continue to do is insult me in kind."
[21:02] Nekira Sudacne: back
[21:06] Nekira Sudacne: "What gives anyone the right to judge anyone Elex? Regardless, i'm not judging you, i'm identifying something. You fit the definition of fanatisem. You said YOURSELF that you cannot explain any reason for it. Now when confronted with the fact, you attack my past. Well answer me this, how the hell does MY past change what YOU do with YOUR life? It dosn't, you know what I do dosn't effect this one bit, so that sheild dosn't work now does it? So I went overboard, that only means I know how to recognise it when I see it. You can't hide behind that because i'm not laying any blame at you, i'm challanging you to face the truth, because you know you can't hide from it forever. And look at how your acting? You are the epitome of politeness when I say terrible things to you, but heaven forbid I point out the one part of you that you know to be irrational, and NOW you say i'm a street walker and unworthy? That's beneath you and you know it"
[21:11] Matt: "Beneath me? Maybe it is, Aliza-san. Perhaps I am being too harsh and unjust with you... Regardlessly, my answer remains the same. Does it make sense? No, but then it again, who ever said it had to? Fanatic I may be, especially in regards to this. If I had merely told you that it was a choice I have made, as an individual, would you try to stop me then? Or would you continue to push and push and push until what many would consider to be the inevitable? Could you not just accept the fact that I refuse your advances because my heart belongs to another and I feel it wrong to engage in sexual activities with someone I do not love?"
[21:13] Nekira Sudacne: "I'm only asking you to stop and analyize why that is. If you cannot do that, then you are a fanatic, and I know you don't wnat to be a fanatic. I'm prepared to defend my life choices, in fact I have several times. Will you simply run from doing the same?"
[21:21] Matt: *sighs loudly* "... Fine. Let us analyze this, Aliza-san..." *turns around and looks at her, giving off the appearance of a man who has already given up* "I believe that sex is meant for those that you love and love you in return. It is as I was taught as a child, and that is all I had to go on until three years ago when I met the Lady Chu'Si. I had only a rudimentary understanding of sex, since I was only eight years old when my sensei began teaching me in solitude. Sex... was not something that we discussed often...."
[21:21] Matt: "The only time it was ever discussed was that there were demons and monsters who would use such tactics to lure their potential prey into a false sense of security before striking. It was then that I could not understand why I had been told one thing... and then taught something completely different. I avoid The Ladies advances for a long time because I believed it to be a trick, a deception, a lure. Rather than genuine feeling. It terrified me, she terrified me... you terrify me. You, Aliza-san, who can and does use sex in the way that demons do. I do not say that you do it all the time for I genuinely believe that there are those here that you love, and will love. However, I also know that for you... sex can be a means to an end..."
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "So you don't beleive I love you, is that it? If I didn't love you, i'd have let you go as just another guy who was uninterested"
[21:31] Matt: *jaw drops*
[21:32] Nekira Sudacne: "I'll admit, it's probablly not exsactly what you feel with Chu'si, because it's not what I feel for ringo. but that's what i mean. There are many kinds of love. That's why I'm so incessently persistant with you"
[21:35] Matt: *looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath* "Yet another woman..." *he repeats again* "Aliza-san... exactly what is it you feel then...? You exhibit none of the signs of someone who is in love... at least not in regards to me. You have, in fact, expressed the exact opposite. A sense of general disdain at times, and at other times a simple, almost childish sense of joy at making me uncomfortable... So then tell me... what is it that you feel?"
[21:37] Nekira Sudacne: "A deep and caring affection for a wonderful person. But every time I try to express it, you scorn my offering of affection" *shrugs* "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. But just because your deeply in the "i want to be with you forever" love, dosn't mean that deep affection and even sexual affection has to be off the tabel. Just ask Chu'si"
[21:38] Matt: "An excellent idea, Aliza-san... Let us." *goes over to the Dojo with Aliza to ask Chu'Si*
[21:39] Matt: (*cue the GM*)
[21:39] Misfit: What dojo? you are on Wormwood
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: yea
[21:40] Matt: (Right! Right!)
[21:40] Misfit: Chu'Si and thea are talking while Thea holds Turk. Thea looks up "Oh... I'll take Turk to get some air..." and meanders off
[21:40] Matt: ignore dojo part...
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: (They could be borrowing the Templars training grounds.)
[21:40] Misfit: Chu'Si looks from Aliza to Elex and back uncertainly
[21:40] Nekira Sudacne: (that'd be hilarious)
[21:41] Nekira Sudacne: "Hello! We were just having a discussion on philosphy"
[21:41] Matt: *folds his arms over his chest and sighs* "Aliza-san has expressed certain... beliefs and fascinations... specifically towards me. We have come to get The Lady's opinion on the matter..."
[21:44] Misfit: She frowns and looks back and forth, pausing to eye Aliza warily then turns to Elex "We were never so..." she frowns. "We didn't worry so much about..." and pauses, obviously searching for the right words
[21:45] Nekira Sudacne: "Tell him the truth" she shrugs "You know the lug needs things spelled out plainly. I've been roundabout the past year and given him entirely the wrong impressions it seems. No sense for you to do the same"
[21:45] Matt: *blinks and raises an eyebrow, amazed that Chu'Si isn't pulling out her tomahawk at this very moment...*
[21:45] Matt: "What do you mean... 'Tell him the truth'...?"
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "The truth of her opinion on the matter"
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "What else would I mean?'
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "She was hesistating, obviously"
[21:46] Misfit: She takes elex hands. "Love... we never did it this way in the Shaded Fang. I do it for you." She frowns "But I don't want anyone else having your children... not while I live"
[21:47] Nekira Sudacne: "That's fine with me. If I do have children, they will be ringos"
[21:47] Matt: *ears jut back and his eyes narrow slightly*
[21:48] Misfit: (How does he jut his ears back? is he a donkey/elf hybrid?)
[21:49] Misfit: (Or a catguy-elf? Silvie would love that)
[21:49] Matt: (I jut my ears back when I'm expressing surprise...)
[21:49] Nekira Sudacne: (....how?)
[21:49] Misfit: Chu'Si looks progressively more worried as Elex looks
[21:49] Nekira Sudacne: (unless...YOUR part cat!)
[21:49] Misfit: (Matt's part donkey too!)
[21:49] Matt: (I could be...
)[21:49] Misfit: (He really is an ass!)
[21:50] Matt: "You were going to wait to tell me this... when, exactly?"
[21:50] Misfit: She looks down "...Didn't think you were ready..."
[21:50] Nekira Sudacne: "She tried to tell you right away, Elex, I was there, you refused to listen for...much the same reasons I pointed out to you before"
[21:50] Matt: (Apparently I'm an ass and a pussy... now all I need is for someone to call me a dick today and I'll be a hermaphrodite)
[21:51] Nekira Sudacne: (You...live in texas in the service industry and no one's called you a dick today?)
[21:51] Matt: (Amazing, isn't it?)
[21:52] Matt: *looks at her silently for a long moment before taking his hand away and turning around and walking away slowly* "Obviously not..."
[21:52] Misfit: "Elex..."
[21:53] Nekira Sudacne: (*wonders when it'll sink in to matt that being an ass and a pussy without a dick just makes him a woman...*)
[21:53] Matt: "The Lady nearly took Erinti-san's head off at the neck when she expressed her affections... Aliza-san gives her opinion on the matter and also expresses similar affections... yet The Lady does nothing except defend Aliza-san..."
[21:53] Nekira Sudacne: *Grabs him* "remember that thing I said about needing to face issues instead of running away? What abot that huge speil about the love unto death you feel for her. Suddenly you don't love her? what the hell?"
[21:54] Nekira Sudacne: "Eritni wants your children, I don't"
[21:54] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns. "Aliza is not a threat... Not like that..."
[21:57] Matt: *spins around on Aliza, anger flashing across his face and through his third eye for all to sense* "OF COURSE I love her! I have dedicated MY LIFE to her! SHE would have to be the one to do this if the Shaded Fang was meant to be brought back, not I! I....." *looks at the two of them, mixed feelings of anger, remorse and shame* "I will not leave her side, I have made an oath to stay by her until one of us dies... And so I intend it to be so... I... just was not expecting... this..."
[21:58] Misfit: Chu'Si seems unsure what to say and unsure if she can touch Elex though she obviously wants to
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: "Then why are you walking away from her? How does that show your love for her?"
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: *uses TK to move Chu-si up aginst him, forcing elex to catch her in reflex* "Well if you two love each-other SHOW it you two goofs"
[21:59] Misfit: Chu'Si just blinks as she catches herself against Elex
[21:59] Matt: "It does not, Aliza-san. It...Oomph!" *catches Chu'Si*
[22:02] Nekira Sudacne: "If it dosn't show that you love her, don't do it! can't you see she's worried sick about you right now!"
[22:03] Misfit: "Elex... I still love you. I knew you could come when Ringo and I were on that dead world"
[22:04] Matt: *looks at her for a moment and then just hugs her* "I could not leave your side... even if I wanted to... Even if every part of my body and mind told me to run... my heart would bring me back to you... I just... don't know what to do..."
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Then be with her" *walks up* "But you heard her. Even she dosn't think that means that you can't have affection for other people"
[22:08] Misfit: Chu'Si just hugs Elex tight (damn, she's strong0
[22:09] Matt: (*crowd* How Strong is She!?)
[22:10] Misfit: (You has her sheet)
[22:10] Nekira Sudacne: (Strong enough your getting your pancreas fused with your spleen)
[22:12] Matt: *grunts slightly under the pressure* "Aliza-san... at the moment, this changes very little... however, I will have to think upon this further... I am sorry for how I have treated you thus far."
[22:12] Misfit: "I... I want you to be happy. I don't want you to be with anyone else, but I am not afraid of Aliza"
[22:14] Nekira Sudacne: "Why hasn't anything changed? I think more's changed than you think"
[22:52] Matt: "One can not expect change instantly... That is Silvie-san's problem... change is never instant, and if it is, it is not genuine... Genuine change takes time, effort and faith..."
[22:53] Nekira Sudacne: "I don't. but every time I tried to show you, you walked away? I can't force it overnight, but the way you've been fighting it, I have to fight to get you to consider it at all"
[19:25] Matt: "I tried to be polite over the matter. Rather than being forceful and insulting, however, every time it happened... I could not think of a way to NOT be insulting..." *frowns* "It is complicated."
[19:29] Matt: "The way I was raised, a dignified silence was often better than being overly rude or inpolite..."
[19:41] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "So the way you were raised...was to ignore problems and walk away instead of solving them?"
[19:43] Matt: *frowns* "No, Aliza-san. I never ignored this... problem. It is merely that I was taught to not engage in such... behaviors, no encourage them."
[19:43] Matt: *nor
[19:44] Nekira Sudacne: "So you didn't ignore the problem, it's just that your solution was to walk away and ignore it?"
[19:44] Matt: "Never... ignored..."
[19:46] Matt: "It was just... I had no way of dealing with it, you often presented yourself, your arguments and your positions in rather... embarrasing and... provacative manners..."
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him, then at Chu'si, and sighs* "I think he has a lot to learn, if he can't even come up with a solution to it"
[19:48] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns. "You leave him little room sometimes..."
[19:51] Matt: "Aliza-san, I was not meant to ever achieve this point. I was... trained to destroy evil, I was taught to fight on par with creatures that wield vast powers and dark intentions... I was never... adequately trained in these more... personal graces. It is... a slow learning process."
[19:51] Nekira Sudacne: "So your master trained you to be a one dimensional killing machine. I'd have thought you'd be even more egar to try to branch out instead of turtling up"
[19:52] Matt: "Sensei trained me to destroy evil. That is what I was supposed to do... I had never planned on falling in love..."
[19:54] Matt: "Discipline, Honor, Truth, Justice... these were the precepts I was taught... Love was not something I was able to experience except from a familial stand-point..."
[19:55] Nekira Sudacne: "Soo...basically yes" *shakes her head* "I otta smack the fool"
[19:55] Matt: "Do not speak ill of my Sensei..."
[19:58] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him* "He trained you to fight evil, and did nothing to teach you how to live, love, enjoy life or do anything but fight evil and be honorable. If you can explain to me how that is the action of a responsible mentor, I will listen"
[20:00] Matt: "He taught me how to live, taught me some of the simplicities and complexities of life. However, he explained to me that he could never teach me how to love, or enjoy life... it was not his place to teach me those things. It was his place to tell me that I deserved to learn for myself."
[20:04] Nekira Sudacne: *shakes her head* 'Ah, I see. Did you not have parents?"
[20:04] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
[20:05] Matt: "I did, Aliza-san."
[20:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Did they try to teach you this stuff?"
[20:06] Matt: "They never had the opportunity to... by the time they had seen me, I was already in my mid twenties..."
[20:08] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "I see. So the problem seems to be you had a sensei when you needed a parent."
[20:10] Matt: "Perhaps, Ailiza-san... Perhaps that may have been the case. I have only but a few, scant, memories of my parents before I was taken under Sensei's guidance... I was still very young though when it happened."
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: "Well I don't think you want to go into the details, so I won't press harder. However, the fact remains that your sensei did not teach you everything you would need to know. So your defence that he didn't teach you to do it, well...it only works as long as you want to stick with it. If you want to grow and learn those things he didn't teach you..."
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: "i'd be happy to help"
[20:14] Matt: *frowns at her silently*
[20:15] Misfit: "She's not all wrong..."
[20:16] Matt: *blinks and glances over at Chu'Si* "And The Lady stands up for Aliza-san's position..."
[20:17] Misfit: She shakes her head. "Not all, but you... you're as bad with people as me"
[20:18] Nekira Sudacne: *smiles* See, I can help both of you"
[20:19] Matt: *frowns*
[20:19] Matt: "I feel like I am being set up..."
[20:21] Misfit: Chu'Si shakes her head
[20:21] Nekira Sudacne: "That's a common feeling when one realizes the ground they were standing on wasn't as firm as they thought it was. but I assure you, I havn't colaberated with Chu'si on any of this. half the time I don't even notice her"
[20:21] Nekira Sudacne: because she's usually with you *smiles*
[20:23] Matt: *raises an eyebrow* "Aliza-san is once again becoming firtatious..."
[20:24] Nekira Sudacne: (She is? That's one time she wasn't trying...)
[20:24] Matt: (It's Elex...)
[20:26] Nekira Sudacne: *raises an eyebrow* "How?
[20:27] Matt: "Aliza-san has indicated that she fails to notice others when I am around..." *frowns thoughtfully* "Which means that Aliza-san is... enamored...?" *frown deepens*
[20:28] Nekira Sudacne: "Actually I was refering to the fact that you avoid me, Chu'si stays with you, so I don't see chu'si much"
[20:29] Matt: *coughs, sweatdrop*
[20:32] Misfit: (sorry, dinner and mom called)
[20:32] Matt: *also manages to turn slightly red with embarrasment at his own thoughts*
[20:34] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns and looks to Elex "You would?
[20:34] Matt: *shakes his head vehemently* "No, My Lady... However, my thoughts betrayed me... I expected something... more deviant from Aliza-san."
[20:38] Nekira Sudacne: back
[20:39] Nekira Sudacne: *shakes her head* "I already told you I have affection for you, i'm not sure why I would need to be subtle about it now. It's not love the way Chu'si feels about you, but still"
[20:39] Matt: *glances over at Chu'Si*
[20:41] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "It's affection, not much deeper than that. I like you, don't you like people?"
[20:42] Matt: "I..."
[20:42] Matt: *frowns* "I am unsure if I would phrase in the way that you just did..."
[20:42] Nekira Sudacne: *empathy*
[20:42] Nekira Sudacne: "So you don't like anyone..."
[20:43] Matt: deeply confused, uncertain, with a sense of growing indignation slapped with a healthy serving of caution.
[20:44] Misfit: Chu'Si doesn't like many, but she mostly has a food/not-food categorization. She's not fond of Aliza either, but worried for how Elex will do when she's gone
[20:45] Matt: "I would not say that. I enjoy others company, I am friends with several... I have many friends, people I care for..."
[20:46] Nekira Sudacne: "And it's hard to beleive I care for you?"
[20:49] Matt: *frowns* "... Perhaps, Aliza-san... That is a question that deserves to be pondered upon? Affections and caring are not the same thing... are they?"
[20:50] Misfit: Chu'Si "Sometimes..."
[20:52] Nekira Sudacne: "Depends on what you mean by them. Like any emotion based words, they can be laden with subtextual emotions" *looks at him* "Or preceived to mean more than they do"
[20:52] Matt: "I deserved that I guess..."
[20:54] Nekira Sudacne: "Ah, now we're reaching something. You claim that I frequently accuse you of things you didn't do. yet it seems to me you readialy read in negative connotations to anything I say"
[20:56] Matt: "Experience has taught me that... You have been less than kind, and despite my attempts at being civil and respectable in my interactions with you, you continued to be rude and insulting... repetatively..."
[21:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Your attempts at being civil and respectable are horrifically rude, has anyone ever told you that? Around here, turning around and walking away is as insulting as slapping me in the face. how did you THINK I would react to that?"
[21:04] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
[21:07] Matt: "I apologize, however, it fails to take into account the fact that the only reason I did that was because I had been treated in such a manner to begin with and did not want to further escalate the situation."
[21:08] Matt: (Brb, baby bath time)
[21:08] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "It's a self-feeding cycle. but an easy way to solve it"
[21:12] Misfit: "Not by sex" Chu'Si stares levely at Aliza
[21:15] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at her* "Now your reading too much into my words. I was refering to both apologisng"
[21:15] Misfit: She nods
[21:16] Matt: *folds his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at Aliza*
[21:16] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes?"
[21:16] Misfit: "Both of you apologize already"
[21:16] Matt: "Apologizing..."
[21:17] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes?" *sighs* "Fine, i'll start. I'm sorry you big lug. There"
[21:18] Matt: *nods* "Apology accepted, Aliza-san. I too, apologize for the way I have treated you."
[21:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Good" *Looks at Chu'si* "Though if he's off, limits, I could always have the makeup-sex with you" *Grins*
[21:20] Misfit: Her jaw drops in surprise and confusion
[21:20] Matt: *frowns*
[21:23] Nekira Sudacne: "I do apologise for teh terrible things i've said to you. But that dosnt' mean my offer is recinded. besides, Chu'si, you said yourself that it's not your clans way. You could help Elex and have a good time"
[21:23] Misfit: "Help Elex?"
[21:25] Nekira Sudacne: "Didn't you hear what our conversations been about? He dosn't know how to cope with such things. the only way to learn is by doing, sinse for good or ill, his past has never subjected him to such things. I know you worry for him, and it's best to learn while he has the chance to"
[21:26] Misfit: "You want me to make him jealous?"
[21:27] Nekira Sudacne: "No"
[21:28] Nekira Sudacne: "I want to show him why he dosn't have to be jealous"
[21:28] Misfit: "By being with you then him?
[21:28] Matt: *raises an eyebrow*
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "You have to admit it could work. what better way to show him that love trancends such things? You wouldn't love him any less would you?"
[21:30] Misfit: "No..."
[21:32] Nekira Sudacne: "Then what better way to prove your love to him is truely undying?"
[21:34] Matt: "Why should such a thing need to be put to a test. Aliza-san?"
[21:36] Nekira Sudacne: "If it's true and you are certain, it is not a test at all, merely embracing that there is more to life"
[21:40] Matt: *glances over at Chu'Si* "I will not make this choice for you..."
[21:40] Misfit: "If we don't need it?"
[21:43] Nekira Sudacne: "Who said it's about need Chu'si" *takes an easy step forward, nonthreateningly and even nonseductively "It's about living life, loving life and embracing it. if it can make you and Elex happy, and I know it can--and what's more, it can teach elex to not stress out over so many things, and I know you know that he takes so many things in stride. its not about need, it's about love, and wanting to be happy. You know you could enjoy that, he could too, and you would both benifit. It's not about rather or not you need to, it's about it helping you be even better than you are now, about being free to do what you want to and know it would make you both happier
[21:43] Misfit: She frowns and looks away while taking a step back
[21:44] Nekira Sudacne: *Spreads her arms* "I'm not forcing either of you. You both know i've passed up many opportunities to do so. I'm offering you both a chance to /volentarly/ do something to make your lives happier. is that so wrong?"
[21:46] Misfit: "...um..."
[21:46] Nekira Sudacne: "I know it's not wrong. you know it too" *empathy*
[21:47] Misfit: Guilt, uncertainty, fear for Chu'Si
[21:48] Matt: growing increasingly cautious, he's closing up emotionally, "
[21:48] Nekira Sudacne: "It's a need people have. it's not wrong to fufil it."
[21:48] Matt: (Wait... Guilt...?)
[21:51] Misfit: (Yep)
[21:53] Matt: (o.O)
[21:58] Misfit: Chu'Si steals a glance at Elex
[21:58] Nekira Sudacne: (Does she answer what aliza said?
[21:58] Matt: *is watching her intently*
[21:59] Misfit: Nope
[22:00] Misfit: "I...she..." Chu'Si takes a breath and looks squarely at elex while taking a deep breath. "You cannot give me everything I.... desire..."
[22:01] Matt: "Aliza-san... in regards to needs that are fulfilled... I would say that the Lady Chu'Si and I are... fairly...s-sa..." *blinks*
[22:02] Misfit: "No, not that..."
[22:03] Matt: *takes a long, drawn out, deep breath and folds his arms over his chest before exhaling slowly*
[22:04] Nekira Sudacne: *decides to give them a bit of time to come to terms with what was just said*
[22:07] Misfit: As in Aliza exits?
[22:08] Nekira Sudacne: more elex realizing chu'si isn't as satsified as he is
[22:08] Misfit: Right. But does she stay?
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: of course
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: She'll wait a few moments
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: lot a long time
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: *watches them stare at each-other* "Now you see why I offer. I know I can help, if you two give me the chance"
[22:12] Matt: *glances over at Aliza, it's a scathing, hurt-angry look*
[22:13] Matt: (And here comes Elex's LESS-than-dignified Silence act...)
[22:14] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at him calmly* "What are you mad at me for? I didn't do anything"
[22:16] Matt: "Your not helping now Aliza-san..." *calmly, evenly, coolly...*
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Obviously. You two arn't saying anything. but don't mind me, stare at each-other in akward silence, i'm sure it'll get the job done"
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: *goes and sits down quietly and proceeds to fade*
[22:20] Nekira Sudacne: (Mental invisibility. she's still there but they are ignoring her presence)
[22:20] Matt: *looks back over to Chu'Si* "An explanation, My Lady."
[22:20] Misfit: Don't they have to save?
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: They technically have to save aginst empathy, telepathy and just about everything else too.
[22:21] Matt: (I think at a -2_
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: I read it more as if they are really trying to notice her or your sneaking past guards tehy get a save
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: but even if they see her, so what, she's sitting quietly
[22:22] Matt: true... it really doesn't matter here...
[22:23] Misfit: She takes a breath
[22:24] Misfit: "I... learned things with Ringo... before and after we rescued that doll of Anna's... I...
[22:26] Matt: *stoically listens* "Such as, My Lady?"
[22:28] Misfit: "Things you cannot give me, rough sex... not love, or even passion. Animal sex, violent and fierce... Not like Aliza's games..."
[22:29] Matt: "More secrets..."
[22:30] Nekira Sudacne: (She dosn't know all of aliza's games)
[22:30] Nekira Sudacne: (obviously)
[22:31] Matt: (Obviously not.)
[22:31] Misfit: (Or Aliza misses her meaning)
[22:31] Nekira Sudacne: (No, she understands)
[22:31] Nekira Sudacne: (She means she dosn't need aliza's mind/sex games with people's hearts)
[22:32] Matt: (Or that Chu'Si and Ringo literally beat the fuck right out of each other while engaging in it)
[22:32] Misfit: (Ding)
[22:33] Nekira Sudacne: (That was my point. aliza can do that if she wants...)
[22:33] Nekira Sudacne: (Tell me she couldn't)
[22:33] Misfit: (But she hasn't, at least party because she's had no call to)
[22:34] Nekira Sudacne: (True)
[22:34] Nekira Sudacne: (but she's willing to learn)
[22:34] Matt: "You never even bothered to tell me... when I searched for you... yearned for you... feared for your loss... I was as a man possessed to find you! And you wait... no... not wait... -hide- it from me..."
[22:35] Matt: "And with Ringo..."
[22:35] Misfit: "You were gone months. I was alone with Ringo months with nothing...."
[22:35] Misfit: (Party because time travel makes her go crosseyed again)
[22:37] Matt: "You decieved me."
[22:38] Matt: "Phrase it however you like, justify it however you wish... this was deception."
[22:38] Misfit: "I didn't want to hurt you..."
[22:38] Nekira Sudacne: (Techncially you didn't ASK if I screwed like a horney dirty rabbit)
[22:39] Matt: "You hid the fact from me... I think... It would have hurt less if you had just told me when I found you... I would not have even cared! But now..."
[22:42] Misfit: "I'm sorry... I was so happy to see you... I thought it wouldn't matter anymore..."
[22:43] Matt: *clenches at first and tightens his lips*
[22:46] Nekira Sudacne: ("So, did you do it again aFTER I found you?)
[22:46] Matt: "And... afterwards...?"
[22:46] Misfit: "Afterwards?"
[22:47] Matt: "After we rescued you three..."
[22:48] Misfit: *SMACK!*
[22:48] Misfit: "When I knew you were on that world, I gave that man nothing!'
[22:48] Misfit: Elex, ow
[22:50] Matt: *takes a deep breath* "Good day, My Lady..." *turns and starts walking away*
[22:51] Misfit: "Elex... please..."
[22:53] Matt: "My Lady, if you will excuse me... right now, I in more pain and hurting greater than any sword, knife, blade, arrow, sling or modern arm has caused me... So... If you will excuse me..."
[22:53] Misfit: She collapses to her knees as Elex walks off
[22:54] Nekira Sudacne: *suddenly speaks up*
[22:55] Nekira Sudacne: "So your solution is to inflict the greater pain of guilt onto your loved one? If you walk out, you'll hurt even more than what your feeling now" she says and stands up
[22:55] Nekira Sudacne: *you'll hurt her even more than what your feeling now
[22:56] Matt: *stops and turns his head to glance over his shoulder askance, a stream of tears rolling down his eyes*
[22:57] Nekira Sudacne: *walks forward* "I know what I am asking of you. I ask you to see thogh those teers and see the same tears reflecting in Chu'si's eyes."
[19:22] Matt: "Tell me, Aliza-san..." *turns his head away again* "... If the roles in this situation were reversed..."
[19:23] Nekira Sudacne: "What do you mean "if"? Arn't you forgeting the other man is ringo, MY lover? I _AM_ in this situation right with you!"
[19:24] Misfit: Bwah! ha Ha Ha!
[19:24] Matt: "Ringo..." *clenches his fist* "Ringo is a scoundrel, and you have not been his only lover..."
[19:25] Nekira Sudacne: "So you admit that the situation /has/ been reversed and I already have handled it. So...the answer to your question is "Yes, it has been reversed". Were you going to finish that sentance?"
[19:28] Matt: "Ringo has not been your only lover, either... "
[19:28] Nekira Sudacne: "Yes. So what was your question, how do I handle it? Well, didn't you just answer the question?"
[19:28] Matt: "I meant, how would you expect Chu'Si to act if it had been me in her position... and we will say, for argument's sake, YOU in Ringo's place..."
[19:28] Nekira Sudacne: "but no, i'll tell you teh answer"
[19:29] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at chu'si, then at you*
[19:29] Nekira Sudacne: "Didn't this conversation start with her telling you that her clan does it differently and that me being with you would not be a threat to her relationship with you?"
[19:31] Matt: *glances over at her again* "Of course... How appropriate. To be in the wrong... again..." *starts walking again*
[19:32] Nekira Sudacne: *the doors slam and lock*
[19:32] Nekira Sudacne: "So what was that about loving her no matter what?"
[19:34] Misfit: Chu'Si looks up to Elex
[19:35] Matt: "I do love her... and that is why I now suffer. I suffer because of my love for her... I suffer because my heart is breaking over this... this.... Deception!" *turns around, losing control of his third eye as a wave of anger and sorrow, intense pain washes out from him* "I was LIED TO! Decieved!"
[19:36] Nekira Sudacne: "And your handling it like a child, walking away instead of trying to resolve the issue. Ask yourself "Why did this happen" and "What can we do about it". Instead of storming off to do NOTHING about it"
[19:41] Matt: "Why...? Why did this happened? Because of... what? I fell short in my obligations to My Lady. I can not do what it is that Ringo did to her, I could never do that. And So... rather than tell me, upfront, honestly... she chose to hide it from me... to decieve me and abuse my trust!" *closes his eyes and clenches his teeth and his fists, trying to restrain himself* "What, exactly, what can be done about it...? I do not know! I must think about this... and you making some sort of feeble attempt to keep me from doing so isn't going to work..."
[19:42] Misfit: Chu'Si rises. "I did not know until... Ringo and I were in that place together for months"
[19:44] Nekira Sudacne: "I'm not preventing you from thinking about it. unless you are saying you can only think where you can't actually act on your thoughts. besides, you will have to discuss it with her anyway, and if you leave, you will hurt her worse"
[19:47] Matt: *looks at her through his tears, his pain clearly etched across his face, making his usual calm and elven features marred* "It hurts, Chu'Si... it hurts so bad I wish for nothing more at this point than for it to end... How can I accept what has happened now? When I look upon you... all I can see now is you and him, in my head..."
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: "You forgive" *shrugs* "That or you break two hearts instead of one"
[19:48] Nekira Sudacne: "You can try to cry and wish you could find another option. but you can't. That's how it is. You know in your heart that's how it is too."
[19:51] Nekira Sudacne: "Mercy isn't the easy path. But you know it to be the correct one"
[19:54] Matt: *glares at aliza*
[19:57] Matt: "Your words are hard to hear beyond my tarnished honor and my broken heart..."
[19:59] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns and takes a deep breath
[20:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Okay. So be cruel. That's the obvious thing your sensei wanted you to be when he taught you those values, yes?"
[20:03] Matt: *laughs bitterly* "You would know all about it, Aliza..."
[20:04] Nekira Sudacne: "I didn't cause this situation, Elex. This would have come out eventually. I'm only forcing you to deal with it instead of running from it"
[20:06] Matt: *slumps to his knees, looking like he is just sick of standing* "I hate this..."
[20:06] Matt: *spoke quietly and in an exasperated manner*
[20:09] Nekira Sudacne: "Life's a bitch" Aliza murmurs sympathetically
[20:10] Nekira Sudacne: ("And i'm a bitch. Obviously I am the source of all life!)
[20:10] Matt: *leans forward and places his head onto the ground, weeping silently... This is definitely his Monday*
[20:11] Misfit: Chu'Si takes a step towards Elex, very uncertainly "I love you. We have a son. We. Us. you and me"
[20:11] Nekira Sudacne: *empathy*
[20:11] Matt: Elex is emotionally spent, he feels drained, empty...
[20:12] Matt: He spent his anger, now all he can feel is a creeping empty sorrow.
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: So. he's empty and not resisting right?
[20:13] Nekira Sudacne: *uses empathetic transmission love to help him cope with the emptiness*
[20:13] Matt: Not resisting, he just doesn't know what to do...
[20:13] Matt: (Should I even roll a save for this?)
[20:14] Misfit: Chu'Si pulls Elex in an embrace
[20:14] Nekira Sudacne: (only if he tries to resist feeling love)
[20:15] Matt: *holds her and just cries, gripping her tightly* "It hurts..."
[20:15] Misfit: "I know..."
[20:18] Matt: "I can not do it... I just can't... I just wish... you had... told me..."
[20:20] Nekira Sudacne: "Is forgiving someone who wronged you truely too much for a cyber knight to do?"
[20:21] Matt: "I must... I want to forgive her... I can not... do to her what Ringo did..."
[20:23] Nekira Sudacne: "You do not have to bear the weight of everything alone or do everything yourself"
[20:25] Matt: "That is the weight of my title... to bear the troubles and wrongs of the world on our shoulders... "
[20:25] Nekira Sudacne: "But not alone"
[20:26] Misfit: "Don't want you to do that to me. It makes you better than Ringo"
[20:27] Matt: *sighs* "I am so tired..."
[20:28] Misfit: "I know. Just hold me"
[20:28] Nekira Sudacne: *lets them have their moment*
[20:28] Matt: *holds her tightly, like he's using what strength he has to do it*
[20:29] Misfit: She hugs Elex back "Our love is all that matters"
[20:31] Matt: "Yes... My Lady... "
[20:31] Matt: "I am so sorry... I love you..."
[20:59] Nekira Sudacne: *after letting them hug and hold for a while* "Feeling any better?"
[21:09] Matt: "A little... Aliza-san... I am still... in pain..."
[21:09] Nekira Sudacne: "Only time will cure that"
[21:09] Nekira Sudacne: "But the question still remains...what now?"
[21:10] Matt: "We move forward..."
[21:11] Misfit: Chu'Si nods "We do"
[21:12] Nekira Sudacne: *nods* "but how? The elephant is still in the room"
[21:12] Misfit: Chu'Si blinks and looks around for an elephant
[21:12] Misfit: Vdery confused
[21:14] Matt: "I... do not know..."
[21:18] Nekira Sudacne: *sighs* "The cause of this is still undaressed. Unless Chu'si honestly beleives she can live forever without it"
[21:19] Misfit: Chu'Si shrugs "Won't live forever..."
[21:20] Nekira Sudacne: "Try 50 years then. Honestly think about it."
[21:25] Matt: *frowns* "I knew it would happen eventually... there are things I can not do, things I will not do... honestly, much of my pain comes for the fact that I can not... and the fact nobody told me the truth..."
[21:26] Misfit: Chu'Si looks down in pain and shame again
[21:27] Nekira Sudacne: *shrugs* "I am an expert in how to deal with sexual needs your lovers can't handle. why do you think I left ringo, then"
[21:28] Matt: *shrugs at Aliza*
[21:29] Misfit: Chu;Si blinks
[21:30] Nekira Sudacne: "So, if you want to hear the voice of experiance..."
[21:33] Misfit: Chu'Si "Elex?"
[21:34] Matt: *looks at aliza for a few moments before nodding slightly*
[21:34] Matt: "Go on..."
[21:39] Nekira Sudacne: *Looks at Chu'si straight in the eyes* "You will never be free of it. It will eat at you, slowly, driving you more and more deserpate. eventually it will find an outlet the only way you allow it to. Which will likely mean you begin to get rough when having sex with elex. and you know how that would work"
[21:42] Misfit: "What do we do then?"
[21:42] Nekira Sudacne: "Find a safe way to vent it, or it will destroy you"
[21:53] Matt: *looks to Chu'Si on that note*
[21:54] Misfit: "Vent it?"
[21:54] Nekira Sudacne: "You need rough sex. If you don't get it, it will destroy you. Elex can't give it to you"
[21:55] Misfit: She frowns. "And I come to you?"
[21:57] Nekira Sudacne: "I can give it to you if you want. Other people can as well. The question isn't what you can do" *looks to elex* "It's how much you will let her do"
[21:58] Matt: "She must do this. I could not deny this of her, for to do otherwise would be to deny her... I just... would like to know about beforehand..."
[21:59] Nekira Sudacne: "Drop box" *smiles*
[21:59] Misfit: "Drop box?"
[21:59] Matt: *frowns* "Poor attempt..."
[22:00] Nekira Sudacne: "Wait, here me out"
[22:01] Nekira Sudacne: "As we saw when this came out, her...needs, get worse when your not around. That means that, logically, she is most likely to have these needs when your not around to give her normal sex. So if she has to tell you beforehand, then arn't you then effectively denying her release at the time she needs it most?"
[22:02] Matt: "I will not stand for this deception a second time, Aliza-san..."
[22:02] Nekira Sudacne:
"I didn't say that"
[22:03] Nekira Sudacne: "What i'm saying is, well, why does she need to ask you for permission every time. is it not enough that she tells you as soon as she is able to?"
[22:03] Matt: *frowns*
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Another point. You admit she needs this. So why do you insist she asks permission? Will you tell her no? If you will tell her no, why would you deny her what you know she needs? And if you will simply say yes anyways, then why not say yes /now/ and be done with it?"
[22:05] Matt: "So am I simply expected to stand by, idle, while she goes off and does this again? How is that any different from what has already happened?"
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "She would do it with your blessing."
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "Or do you not wanting her doing it?"
[22:05] Nekira Sudacne: "and if not, didn't you already say she must/"
[22:06] Matt: *nods* "She must..."
[22:06] Matt: "Just... not with Ringo... Ever..."
[22:07] Nekira Sudacne: "Why not? He is the most qualified, for all his many....many...." 8sighs* "many faults"
[22:08] Matt: "Not him. I will not argue this point for any reason..."
[22:09] Nekira Sudacne: "It dosn't have to be him. but logic is not a great thing to ask of a man of reason. Not exsamining your emotions is not /healthy/. All your doing is displaying jealousy. That will be poison. how do we know you won't do the same to any other person?"
[22:11] Matt: "Because, Ringo would simply abuse her. He cares not for her, or her well being."
[22:12] Matt: "If she must engage in this sort of thing, and we know she must, I would prefer it to be with someone who..." *frowns*
[22:13] Nekira Sudacne: *frowns* "I should slap you. Ringo does care, in his own way. You didn't think /i/ cared either, but would I be going though all this trouble if I didn't honestly care? I do. and Ringo does care for Chu'si, in his own way. He cares in his own way for every woman he has ever had. even when he'd rather not, he can't help it. it's his nature"
[22:15] Matt: *frowns slightly*
[22:15] Nekira Sudacne: "And if you don't beleive that, think of this"
[22:17] Nekira Sudacne: "They were stuck for months, alone, togeather, with only a broken doll of a person with them at the time. They had no choice but to learn to work togeather. Human nature in a crsis situation forms bonds in that situation" *Looks at Chu'si* "He did seem to genuinely care, in his own way, did he not? as twisted as it sometimes is"
[22:17] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns "Think so..."
[22:19] Nekira Sudacne: "Ringo cares. Otherwise he'd have thrown all the orphans out of his home"
[22:20] Matt: *sighs*
[22:20] Matt: "I can not argue against it..."
[22:21] Matt: "Except that it is... angering..."
[22:21] Matt: "It is like a reminder..."
[22:21] Nekira Sudacne: "Except that you are jealous. It's a poisonous emotion"
[22:24] Matt: "*frowns* "I must have my honor restored for this to be possible... Ringo defaced my honor..."
[22:24] Misfit: Chu'Si frowns
