Post by sawg138 on Mar 1, 2011 15:53:39 GMT -5
taus.solace: *Phere is quiet, keeping more or less to herself, apart from the rest. She stands as if alert, but her jaw is tight, She is gazing out one of the windows, absently clenching and unclenching her hands at her sides.*
Elex: *glances over at her* "Patience, young one... Your anxiety seems to be getting the better of you."
taus.solace: *she tenses noticably, then speaks quietly, with her thick Greek accent* "I do not believe lack of patience has much to do with my current state. Perhaps more accurately, I have had too much of it, for too long."
Elex: *raises an eyebrow*
Elex: "Then what is a few more hours?"
taus.solace: *a pang of guilt washes over her, but she does not turn her gaze from the window* "If these last hours are any indication, these next hours are going to be... difficult. For the first time, I am witness to something I had not thought possible." She quiets her voice into a near whisper, "And...I am not speaking solely of this ritual."
taus.solace: *she tightens her jaw again*
Elex: "And what is it you speak of then?"
taus.solace: "Bits of my past, coming to haunt me, perhaps. As if now taunting me... but it is.. a long story. I reveled in small bits of defiance as a youth. But now.. after what has happened, I cannot help but wonder... it is difficult for me to put a voice to such things"
Elex: *turns to look at her* "As do many of the youthful, it seems. Perhaps it would be easy for you to discuss it a little. You and I have not had time to talk much since I came back... "
taus.solace: *she gives a slight nod* "I do not know if proper introductions have been made, either. I had run into Ringo and...the little girl, only briefly, some weeks before everything fell apart. I did not expect I would be back this way, but.. it was fortunate they mentioned there were others skilled and with the drive to combat against vampires.." *she finally pulls her gaze from the window and turns towards Elex* "Pherenike is the name I go by. A name that has certain meaning to my people."
taus.solace: *she pauses for a moment, then says more quietly: "it is not a name I have lived up to, as they had perhaps hoped."
Elex: *bows his head slightly* "Pherenike... I am unfamiliar with the name, or it's meaning. I am Elexorien, pleased to make your acquaintence."
taus.solace: "in the more common tongue, it translates to: 'bringing victory'. But as a youth I did what I could to balk at traditions, though somehow the elders believed I would be molded into a more proper young adult.. a true Slayer once I had a taste of the true reality rather than what they teach in training."
Elex: "Training..." *chuckles* "Training... has it's place and purpose... and it is not in life."
taus.solace: *nods slightly*
Elex: "The funny thing about being young... You did it the right way. Questioning the world around you, rather than blindly following."
taus.solace: *her gaze drops slightly to the leather cord around her neck, upon which is threaded 10 pointed teeth* "Even so, it is uncertain if I have done it the right way. Most of the Slayers who return claim this many...or more.. within a single year. Others can do this same number within a few months or less."
Elex: *raises an eyebrow* "And...? Since when should the fangs of the undead be a gauge of a warriors merit... No... It is not the number of enemies that one vanquishes that deems one a great warrior or not. It is... the soul behind their actions, the reasons for them..."
taus.solace: *she shakes her head* "To my people, it shows that we work to bring down their numbers. The more teeth brought as trophies, the higher the honor bestowed upon the family. And it seems to bolster the youth--some of my peers would often say with how many teeth my grandmother had, I would have the natural talent... She had as many teeth in as many days. And it was hoped that I would inherit her... natural talent."
taus.solace: "But it was not as they had hoped... I say again, I did not choose this life, it was chosen for me. And when I was sent to this area, I..." *she falters in hesitation.*
Elex: *motions for her to continue*
taus.solace: *draws in a deep breath and slowly exhales before finishing,* "I did not do as my mother, her mother, and her mother, and so on through the ages, in other families, have done. I did not seek the nests of the vampires, though I knew where they could be found. The ones I came across were singular rogues, lesser vampires." *she pauses and whispers something inaudible*
taus.solace: *repeats in a louder voice,* "five years. it has taken me five years to get this many. And six of those during the attack, here. So truly, I had aquired four in five years.. not the mark of a great Slayer.* *she sighs heavily, and casts her gaze to the window once more.*
Elex: *shrugs slightly* "Greatness is not all it is perceived to be, in my opinion, Pherenike. In fact, I find it to be somewhat troublesome.... Besides, you are still young, and have much to learn and accomplish still. Feel not afraid for your past, but instead look to the present and the future with hope."
taus.solace: "Even so, I cannot simply shrug away these feelings. Had I taken the role more seriously, gone more willingly along, I can not help but believe that the vampires would not have attacked in as many numbers. Perhaps I would have lessened their numbers, or perhaps bring an end to at least one vampire nest, as my great-grandmother is reputed to have done by the time she was my age. The options are limited in what I am able to do, because of what I am, or rather, what I am supposed to be." *she gazes wistfully at the sky.* "No one has ever strayed from the path of the Slayer before. We are born to be Slayers, we die as Slayers. If the Fates determine we do not die in a fight, we train the next generation of Slayers until old age takes us."
Elex: *chuckles lowly* "What a terrible cage fate is, Pherenike. A small suggestion if I will... Do not speak about Fate to some of us. While there are those of us who believe in the strands of fate... and those who are adamantly opposed to it."
Elex: "In the end... we all must make our own way. Our own decisions and live by our own ways that ensure our own happiness..."
taus.solace: *she nods slightly* "I suppose most people are more able to choose for themselves, that not all have their lives dictated by what order they are born.. but, that is the way of my people. We are not given a choice in the matter. Our birth order determines what role we are to fill. It is the way things have been done for many centuries. It is our custom, tradition. No one has broken with the tradition.. at least, not....yet."
Elex: "Until... you, eh?"
taus.solace: *she nods, slowly*
Elex: *nods solemnly* "I can understand then... why you seem to be having trouble with this. You go against the status quo..." *looks out the window slightly* "We do a lot of that it seems..."
taus.solace: "My people do not know of the things I have done....or rather, not done. Not yet anyway. But, I suppose it is a matter of time. With the large numbers seen in this area, I imagine they may send others to the area, others who are more eager to have been chosen."
Elex: "A question, if I may pose..." *looks up* "Why does it matter to you, Pherenike?"
taus.solace: "Are you asking.. why it matters to me, whether other Slayers of my people are sent here? Is that your meaning?"
Elex: *shakes his head slightly* "I mean... Why does any of it matter to you... as an individual?"
taus.solace: *she takes a moment to collect her thoughts, closing her eyes loosely. She opens them after a moment before responding, "The ways of my people are.. so ingrained. Everything is laid out, everything. From what is expected of those who have roles to go out.. the slayers and the scholars, and what is expected of those who...stay behind. "
taus.solace: "I am not happy with the lack of choice I was given. Had I been given the choice, I would have perferred to be a scholar, learn what I could, return and impart my wisdom, and go out again."
Elex: *nods slightly* "Perhaps... then... First, one must unlearn what they have already learned... Therein will lay the doorway to the path you seek."
taus.solace: *smiles wistfully* "it is not as simple as 'unlearning" anything. Nor is it as simple as walking a different path. When I say that everything is laid out... I do mean, everything. In another few years, I will be expected to return, give a recount of what I had done, my successes and failures.."
taus.solace: *she pauses as if to stop herself from saying more*
Elex: "And if you should not return?"
taus.solace: "It does not happen, often, that a Slayer does not return at the appointed time. Sometimes we are slain in duty, that cannot be helped.."
taus.solace: "But the truth of it is, even now, there is one who waits for my return...even though it is years yet before the appointed time. Things are in place for those Slayers who do not survive long enough, but it is unheard of for a Slayer to...willingly make the choice to not go back..." *she casts her gaze downwards*
Elex: "Perhaps..." *looks at her serenely* "It is time things changed... If there is no change, nothing is gained, nothing is earned, nothing ever moves forward, or backward... it remains stagnant..."
taus.solace: *she nods, with a soft sigh* "This is the most I have ever spoken of the ways of my people.. truthfully the most I have ever spoken to.. anyone. I suppose I am....afraid of what my people would do or say. Would they make me to return early, and find a mate suited for my deeds? Would they even take "no" for an answer? And if there are other Slayers in the area, they would recognize my mark..were I to show it. These very questions have haunted me since I first stepped foot outside the borders of the city, for these five years. I have not given much thought to it, because I did not see many cities along my paths, and when I did, I did not linger long."
Elex: "Plagued by these thoughts, one would wonder how you can think for yourself at all."
Elex: "All of these thoughts that cross your mind... they are nothing more than the fanciful thoughts of an active imagination. Grounded in fear, doubt and uncertainty. These things do not belong in the heart of those who seek to change."
taus.solace: *she grows queit for a moment* "Yet, I do not know how to silence the growing doubts, the guilt within. Torn between the traditions and expectations of my people, and the things that I want to achieve, whether that matches with traditions or not. TH
taus.solace: "The one thought I have that is very clear..."
taus.solace: *she pauses again, as if steeling herself to speak her mind*
taus.solace: "...I want for my daughter... future daughter, i should say, I want for her the choices that I did not have. If she CHOOSES the life of a Slayer, that is fine by me. If she chooses instead the life of a scholar or... or even a magician.." *she smiles sadly* "then i will support her in whatever she wants. But as rigid as my people are in their ways.. I cannot see returning there."
Elex: "If that is your clearest thought, your deepest hope... then the path set before you is clear as that thought, as deep as that hope. You know which choice you must make... now it is only a matter of making that choice and living with the consequences of it."
taus.solace: *she nods, looks up at Elex, then turns her gaze to the window once more* "It is a thought that has been growing.. for some time. But I could not let myself voice it, except to Corax and Alcippe." *she takes in a deep breath and slowly exhales* "After my involvement with these vampires is passed, I would not know what to do at the next. I can fend for myself well enough.. but that will not help me in finding what I would like to do., and more, what I can do"
Elex: and we'll have to put a pause on this one.
Elex: *glances over at her* "Patience, young one... Your anxiety seems to be getting the better of you."
taus.solace: *she tenses noticably, then speaks quietly, with her thick Greek accent* "I do not believe lack of patience has much to do with my current state. Perhaps more accurately, I have had too much of it, for too long."
Elex: *raises an eyebrow*
Elex: "Then what is a few more hours?"
taus.solace: *a pang of guilt washes over her, but she does not turn her gaze from the window* "If these last hours are any indication, these next hours are going to be... difficult. For the first time, I am witness to something I had not thought possible." She quiets her voice into a near whisper, "And...I am not speaking solely of this ritual."
taus.solace: *she tightens her jaw again*
Elex: "And what is it you speak of then?"
taus.solace: "Bits of my past, coming to haunt me, perhaps. As if now taunting me... but it is.. a long story. I reveled in small bits of defiance as a youth. But now.. after what has happened, I cannot help but wonder... it is difficult for me to put a voice to such things"
Elex: *turns to look at her* "As do many of the youthful, it seems. Perhaps it would be easy for you to discuss it a little. You and I have not had time to talk much since I came back... "
taus.solace: *she gives a slight nod* "I do not know if proper introductions have been made, either. I had run into Ringo and...the little girl, only briefly, some weeks before everything fell apart. I did not expect I would be back this way, but.. it was fortunate they mentioned there were others skilled and with the drive to combat against vampires.." *she finally pulls her gaze from the window and turns towards Elex* "Pherenike is the name I go by. A name that has certain meaning to my people."
taus.solace: *she pauses for a moment, then says more quietly: "it is not a name I have lived up to, as they had perhaps hoped."
Elex: *bows his head slightly* "Pherenike... I am unfamiliar with the name, or it's meaning. I am Elexorien, pleased to make your acquaintence."
taus.solace: "in the more common tongue, it translates to: 'bringing victory'. But as a youth I did what I could to balk at traditions, though somehow the elders believed I would be molded into a more proper young adult.. a true Slayer once I had a taste of the true reality rather than what they teach in training."
Elex: "Training..." *chuckles* "Training... has it's place and purpose... and it is not in life."
taus.solace: *nods slightly*
Elex: "The funny thing about being young... You did it the right way. Questioning the world around you, rather than blindly following."
taus.solace: *her gaze drops slightly to the leather cord around her neck, upon which is threaded 10 pointed teeth* "Even so, it is uncertain if I have done it the right way. Most of the Slayers who return claim this many...or more.. within a single year. Others can do this same number within a few months or less."
Elex: *raises an eyebrow* "And...? Since when should the fangs of the undead be a gauge of a warriors merit... No... It is not the number of enemies that one vanquishes that deems one a great warrior or not. It is... the soul behind their actions, the reasons for them..."
taus.solace: *she shakes her head* "To my people, it shows that we work to bring down their numbers. The more teeth brought as trophies, the higher the honor bestowed upon the family. And it seems to bolster the youth--some of my peers would often say with how many teeth my grandmother had, I would have the natural talent... She had as many teeth in as many days. And it was hoped that I would inherit her... natural talent."
taus.solace: "But it was not as they had hoped... I say again, I did not choose this life, it was chosen for me. And when I was sent to this area, I..." *she falters in hesitation.*
Elex: *motions for her to continue*
taus.solace: *draws in a deep breath and slowly exhales before finishing,* "I did not do as my mother, her mother, and her mother, and so on through the ages, in other families, have done. I did not seek the nests of the vampires, though I knew where they could be found. The ones I came across were singular rogues, lesser vampires." *she pauses and whispers something inaudible*
taus.solace: *repeats in a louder voice,* "five years. it has taken me five years to get this many. And six of those during the attack, here. So truly, I had aquired four in five years.. not the mark of a great Slayer.* *she sighs heavily, and casts her gaze to the window once more.*
Elex: *shrugs slightly* "Greatness is not all it is perceived to be, in my opinion, Pherenike. In fact, I find it to be somewhat troublesome.... Besides, you are still young, and have much to learn and accomplish still. Feel not afraid for your past, but instead look to the present and the future with hope."
taus.solace: "Even so, I cannot simply shrug away these feelings. Had I taken the role more seriously, gone more willingly along, I can not help but believe that the vampires would not have attacked in as many numbers. Perhaps I would have lessened their numbers, or perhaps bring an end to at least one vampire nest, as my great-grandmother is reputed to have done by the time she was my age. The options are limited in what I am able to do, because of what I am, or rather, what I am supposed to be." *she gazes wistfully at the sky.* "No one has ever strayed from the path of the Slayer before. We are born to be Slayers, we die as Slayers. If the Fates determine we do not die in a fight, we train the next generation of Slayers until old age takes us."
Elex: *chuckles lowly* "What a terrible cage fate is, Pherenike. A small suggestion if I will... Do not speak about Fate to some of us. While there are those of us who believe in the strands of fate... and those who are adamantly opposed to it."
Elex: "In the end... we all must make our own way. Our own decisions and live by our own ways that ensure our own happiness..."
taus.solace: *she nods slightly* "I suppose most people are more able to choose for themselves, that not all have their lives dictated by what order they are born.. but, that is the way of my people. We are not given a choice in the matter. Our birth order determines what role we are to fill. It is the way things have been done for many centuries. It is our custom, tradition. No one has broken with the tradition.. at least, not....yet."
Elex: "Until... you, eh?"
taus.solace: *she nods, slowly*
Elex: *nods solemnly* "I can understand then... why you seem to be having trouble with this. You go against the status quo..." *looks out the window slightly* "We do a lot of that it seems..."
taus.solace: "My people do not know of the things I have done....or rather, not done. Not yet anyway. But, I suppose it is a matter of time. With the large numbers seen in this area, I imagine they may send others to the area, others who are more eager to have been chosen."
Elex: "A question, if I may pose..." *looks up* "Why does it matter to you, Pherenike?"
taus.solace: "Are you asking.. why it matters to me, whether other Slayers of my people are sent here? Is that your meaning?"
Elex: *shakes his head slightly* "I mean... Why does any of it matter to you... as an individual?"
taus.solace: *she takes a moment to collect her thoughts, closing her eyes loosely. She opens them after a moment before responding, "The ways of my people are.. so ingrained. Everything is laid out, everything. From what is expected of those who have roles to go out.. the slayers and the scholars, and what is expected of those who...stay behind. "
taus.solace: "I am not happy with the lack of choice I was given. Had I been given the choice, I would have perferred to be a scholar, learn what I could, return and impart my wisdom, and go out again."
Elex: *nods slightly* "Perhaps... then... First, one must unlearn what they have already learned... Therein will lay the doorway to the path you seek."
taus.solace: *smiles wistfully* "it is not as simple as 'unlearning" anything. Nor is it as simple as walking a different path. When I say that everything is laid out... I do mean, everything. In another few years, I will be expected to return, give a recount of what I had done, my successes and failures.."
taus.solace: *she pauses as if to stop herself from saying more*
Elex: "And if you should not return?"
taus.solace: "It does not happen, often, that a Slayer does not return at the appointed time. Sometimes we are slain in duty, that cannot be helped.."
taus.solace: "But the truth of it is, even now, there is one who waits for my return...even though it is years yet before the appointed time. Things are in place for those Slayers who do not survive long enough, but it is unheard of for a Slayer to...willingly make the choice to not go back..." *she casts her gaze downwards*
Elex: "Perhaps..." *looks at her serenely* "It is time things changed... If there is no change, nothing is gained, nothing is earned, nothing ever moves forward, or backward... it remains stagnant..."
taus.solace: *she nods, with a soft sigh* "This is the most I have ever spoken of the ways of my people.. truthfully the most I have ever spoken to.. anyone. I suppose I am....afraid of what my people would do or say. Would they make me to return early, and find a mate suited for my deeds? Would they even take "no" for an answer? And if there are other Slayers in the area, they would recognize my mark..were I to show it. These very questions have haunted me since I first stepped foot outside the borders of the city, for these five years. I have not given much thought to it, because I did not see many cities along my paths, and when I did, I did not linger long."
Elex: "Plagued by these thoughts, one would wonder how you can think for yourself at all."
Elex: "All of these thoughts that cross your mind... they are nothing more than the fanciful thoughts of an active imagination. Grounded in fear, doubt and uncertainty. These things do not belong in the heart of those who seek to change."
taus.solace: *she grows queit for a moment* "Yet, I do not know how to silence the growing doubts, the guilt within. Torn between the traditions and expectations of my people, and the things that I want to achieve, whether that matches with traditions or not. TH
taus.solace: "The one thought I have that is very clear..."
taus.solace: *she pauses again, as if steeling herself to speak her mind*
taus.solace: "...I want for my daughter... future daughter, i should say, I want for her the choices that I did not have. If she CHOOSES the life of a Slayer, that is fine by me. If she chooses instead the life of a scholar or... or even a magician.." *she smiles sadly* "then i will support her in whatever she wants. But as rigid as my people are in their ways.. I cannot see returning there."
Elex: "If that is your clearest thought, your deepest hope... then the path set before you is clear as that thought, as deep as that hope. You know which choice you must make... now it is only a matter of making that choice and living with the consequences of it."
taus.solace: *she nods, looks up at Elex, then turns her gaze to the window once more* "It is a thought that has been growing.. for some time. But I could not let myself voice it, except to Corax and Alcippe." *she takes in a deep breath and slowly exhales* "After my involvement with these vampires is passed, I would not know what to do at the next. I can fend for myself well enough.. but that will not help me in finding what I would like to do., and more, what I can do"
Elex: and we'll have to put a pause on this one.
