Post by sawg138 on Jul 5, 2013 20:29:39 GMT -5
[19:35] taus.solace: so, to set the scene: Since her last solo stroll through the woods, her return accompanied by Elex carrying a passed-out Cody and LG, Phere has been slightly more focused, turning to writing during the more idle moments..
[19:38] taus.solace: *sits with her back wedged against a rough-barked tree, paper in her lap, pen just barely hovering over the paper.. whether she's thinking or reading, it's hard to tell*
[19:39] Misfit: Lery comes and sits down. "You ok? You been writing a lot"
[19:44] taus.solace: *looks over to Lery and rests her pen down* "I have figured.. it is better that I can get my thoughts out somehow than keep them bottled within.. If Elexorien had not caught up to me when he did, I am not sure how much further I would have wandered... Or...how I would have made it back.."
[19:45] Misfit: Lery frowns
[19:49] taus.solace: "I do not mean this to worry you. Yet, as my mind wanders, so do I.. Or perhaps is the other way around....I can not be certain."
[19:52] Misfit: He nods. "Don't wander too far It's a vast wilderness out there and I don't want to lose you" then he smiles "Sit and write we can find you easier. What happened to the boy?"
[19:56] taus.solace: "Sometime after Elex caught up to me, he warned of trouble. It seems Cody was not far from us...yet I do not recall running into him." *she frowns slightly* "Next thing I know, Elexorien sent me running in one direction, while he turned and ran in the opposite direction... I climbed a nearby tree to get a better look, and saw them with a small group of.. dogfolk, I have not seen the like before. With plenty more spread out, seeming to advance on their position. It was not a friendly scene, so I ran back to them."
[19:58] taus.solace: *frowns* "By the time I got there, one was dead, others were wounded. The boy had taken some bad hits.. not the least of which was a blow to the head that made him speak of.. odd things. He spoke nonsense for awhile before he lost consciousness again."
[19:59] Misfit: "Like he needs a shot in the head to talk foolishness. So you all wandered off and found a fight"
[20:03] taus.solace: *she nods slowly* "It would have appeared that Cody had left first and Elexorien followed him.. But as for when I started my wandering, I have no recall. I do not remember even leaving camp, and that.. scares me, for I cannot be certain it will not happen again."
[20:04] Misfit: "your fight was also far enough we did not hear it."
[20:08] taus.solace: *nods* "We did not wish to bring the fight to the rest. They were pursuaded to leave us be, and left in a different direction, away from camp."
[20:08] Misfit: "They can always circle around and find our trail again"
[20:10] taus.solace: "It was a small number, a scout party perhaps? One mentioned the rest of their number would be eight days behind them.. and we should be long gone by then."
[20:10] Misfit: He nods, frowning. "Who were they?"
[20:14] taus.solace: *she shakes her head* "I am not certain, I have seen nothing like it before. They seemed to have a great dislike of dragons as well as those who use magic."
[20:16] taus.solace: "I had not the chance to ask Elexorien in more detail as to if he knew who or what they were.. We were more focused on getting Cody to safety."
[20:18] Misfit: He nods. "Well, I'm glad you're ok. Stay closer to us in the future. What's on your mind so much you can wander off that far?"
[20:24] taus.solace: *glances down at the paper that's sitting on her lap* "That tune... I started to mention it to you once before. It is but a vague phantom of my past.. yet it is now relentless. I thought that it would cease as I began to hum it.. but that has not worked."
[20:24] Misfit: "From your training?"
[20:28] taus.solace: *she nods* "As the tune has become more repetitive, so have..certain recollections about those days....."
[20:29] Misfit: He nods and puts an arm around her shoulders. "Maybe talking about it will help?"
[20:34] taus.solace: *nods and shifts her position, inching closer to him* "Talking would help. But it is not easy for me to speak so openly of such things. I know you have your camp duties, and around all of the others, it is quite difficult for me to speak my mind.. So I write, in order that at least I do not feel...trapped in these thoughts, memories."
[20:37] taus.solace: *looks down at the page again* "yet, for all of the writing, there remains a tangle of the past and present.. What has been done is not so easily undone."
[20:37] Misfit: "That is always the case, but you are among friends now"
[20:41] taus.solace: *manages a smile and leans her head against his arm* "This is true.. yet..." *her smile begins to fade* "...even among friends, I now cannot let my guard down.. I..have not told you what took place a couple of days ago."
[20:41] Misfit: "What happened?"
[20:45] taus.solace: "Elexorien and I have been talking off and on, discussing our different warrior paths. The night the vampires had amassed to attack the city, I told him, was the first time in a long time I had raised my sword against any foe. And now here I am, to stand with you all against a foe I do not know. I thought perhaps he could help shake some of the rust away.."
[20:46] taus.solace: "It was decided that he and I would have a spar between us. He seemed confident I could do no lasting damage to him, and he made it clear that I was to attack him as if I was attacking an enemy."
[20:47] Misfit: He nods, waiting for her to continue
[20:50] taus.solace: "He allowed me the first strike.. and I did not hold back. I cut his arm pretty deep.. before it began to heal as if it had not happened."
[20:53] taus.solace: "Once he began returning my blows..." *she frowns, tensing noticably*
[21:00] taus.solace: "..It was as if..I was.. somewhere else.. or rather, someWHEN else.. I was not certain then if it was a mere memory, or if somehow I had been made to... go back to that time."
[21:01] Misfit: "Like a flashback?"
[21:09] taus.solace: *she nods* "I was reacting as I would have back then. I did not try to deflect any of the blows with my shield.. nor my blade, for that matter I was just too focused on getting the next hit. When those hits did not land, as they often did not back then, I felt that same anger that had long been my only companion..."
[21:13] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "If it had not been Elexorien, but one who had wished true harm to come to me..." *lowers her head, letting silence take the place of the words left unspoken*
[21:13] Misfit: "There is more of your past you need to face and cast aside"
[21:18] taus.solace: *nods slowly in agreement* "I cannot employ the same techniques I once used--to turn and run, hide myself from people once more. I did that, and suffered greatly, while very much alone. I will not do that again."
[21:21] taus.solace: "But I cannot allow the memories to take me over, either.. in the way they did while I had put my blade against Elexorien's, or the walk in the woods that took me so far from camp."
[21:21] Misfit: Lery nods. "And so you write?"
[21:25] taus.solace: *nods* "It is easier to write than it would be to speak to another, for it seems I am speaking to myself.. I do not imagine that it makes much sense."
[21:29] taus.solace: "Yet, it helps to keep my mind occupied enough to focus on what I must, without worrying about my feet or legs taking me so far away that I cannot find my way back.. I have not yet mastered walking and writing, nor do I intend to try."
[21:30] Misfit: He nods. "Then write away"
[21:37] taus.solace: *she nods then pauses as if remembering something* "Oh.. I had become so occupied with these latest thoughts, I.. had forgotten.." *fumbles momentarily in her pouch, but hesitates, leaving her hand inside* "Lery.. there is something I had meant to give you, but, I must ask something of you first."
[21:38] taus.solace: *looks up at him, her expression solemn*
[21:38] Misfit: He nods "Ask it"
[21:43] taus.solace: "Do not open it." *without breaking her gaze, she removes her hand from her pouch, holding a folded paper stamped with a wax seal* "Not until and unless, I should reach the end of my journey out here. There are things I want to say, but cannot yet say.. Things I intend to say when we begin our journey back. But if I do not get that chance.. then may you read."
[21:43] taus.solace: *holds it towards him*
[21:44] Misfit: He takes it and tucks it away in a pocket. "I shall open it only should your journey end"
[21:48] taus.solace: "Elexorien carries a similar letter, with the same instructions as to when to open it. It is my hope they need not be opened, but there they are. The words were not easy to write, but it was something I felt I had to do, to better focus on other things."
[21:48] Misfit: He nods "As you wish"
[21:59] taus.solace: *gives a subdued smile and nestles her head against his shoulder* "Would.. you like to hear more of what it is that I am now writing? It is not near completion, but, I have mentioned it in part."
[22:00] Misfit: "I am always interested in what's on your mind"
[22:03] taus.solace: "That melody, it has been on my mind often as of late. It started as a faint whisper that I hardly noticed, yet grew into something I can no longer ignore. You had asked me once of its meaning."
[22:07] taus.solace: "I had tried to think of the words then, but I had none, only the tune.. Yet when I started writing on these pages, it was as though I had heard it yesterday."
[22:15] taus.solace: *smooths her hands over the words written in verse form* "The thought I have now, in order to move beyond the past, is to make it new And I can start with this, one of the first things they ever taught to us, even before our training started."
[22:15] Misfit: "Make it new? You are rewriting the songs you grew up with?"
[22:19] taus.solace: *nods* "I never felt a connection with the song I was taught, made to sing at the start of each day. Indeed, after I left, I had told myself I would never again sing anything, for any reason."
[22:21] taus.solace: *shrugs* "So why this should come to me now, after all of this time, I do not know. The tune has shown me that it will not be ignored, so, rather than fight against it and attempt to forget again, I intend to make it into something that....I will want to remember."
[22:21] Misfit: He nods "Then we should all sing your version, so you hear it in the voices of friends"
[22:26] taus.solace: *flushes with sudden embarrassment, yet manages a small grin* "I have not written the words with the intent for others to sing.. for in this, I speak of where I have come from, and the direction I feel I am headed... I am not even certain I could sing the final version aloud. I do not make the same kind of sounds I have heard from Elexorien or Little Girl."
[22:27] Misfit: "I can take you to places where friendly voices will life up the song and none will care how well any voice sounds"
[22:31] taus.solace: *smiles* "I do have dreams of sharing this openly, when it is complete.. this, and, another tune that has not seemed to haunt me as much as this one.. perhaps that one, I can teach for others to join...." *her smile slowly fades* "except.."
[22:33] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "Perhaps I should not say after all.. or get my hopes up. It would be better if I had others to join, when the time comes.. but I do not know how to approach the asking."
[11:59] Misfit: "simple, you ask if they would join you in a song. Or, sometimes, you just start singing"
[12:07] taus.solace: *frowns thoughtfully* "I cannot expect others to join in if I do not take the time to share what it is."
[12:13] taus.solace: *leans her head back, glancing upwards* "I do not know how to put it into words. I am imagining you will think it is not serious, perhaps even foolish or silly.. even though, you have shown no signs of thinking such things yet."
[12:13] Misfit: "If it weighs so heavily on you, it can't be trivial"
[12:16] taus.solace: *closes her eyes* "I was going to speak more on this after we started the journey back, but even then it will not be any easier to come out and say.."
[12:20] Misfit: "Then just say it. You may find the fear of it harder then the doing"
[12:27] taus.solace: *nods and opens her eyes to look at Lery* "my.. Name, Pherenike, was given to me when I became a Slayer. But on this journey, I have decided that the Slayer is not who I am, despite what my people thought or hoped--we have spoken of this already. My people now believe that the Slayer Pherenike is dead...." *she pauses* "...and I feel, that is how it must be.."
[12:28] taus.solace: *pauses again to observe his reaction*
[12:30] Misfit: He's obviously trying to work it through and not succeeding
[12:37] taus.solace: *she takes his hand and squeezes it gently* "As long as I have the Name, I carry the burdens of what my people wanted, which I continue to fight against as I try to live within this new life you have introduced me to. I do not have the desire or intent to die myself.. But I do wish to put the Name to rest."
[12:38] Misfit: "So you are taking a new name"
[12:43] taus.solace: *she nods* "I had thought of several, but one in particular seems to fit.. yet it does not seem proper to take on the new Name until the former is put at rest. I had no intent to carry out any of the rituals my people have done for generations.. but it seems the best way to go about this."
[12:44] Misfit: "So we hold a funeral and a naming ceremony?"
[12:47] taus.solace: *she nods again* "I do not know of your funeral rituals, but the one my people would have used seem a good model.. Indeed, they would have held one for me already.. when my grandmother revealed that I was dead. That realization set in a few days after the letter came, and I have been thinking on this since then."
[12:51] taus.solace: "It is believed that when a Slayer dies, the soul is held in place until everyone is gathered to.... plea with The Fates to allow that soul to be born anew, Even if the Slayer's body is not able to be recovered, the ritual is carried out in the hope that The Fates will be guided to the soul... They would have done this, whether my grandmother encouraged it or not."
[12:55] taus.solace: *she tenses slightly* "I know you, along with some of the others, do not believe in The Fates as such beings.. but I cannot deny that there have been Slayers who claim to recall details of past lives."
[12:55] Misfit: Lery shakes his head "I believe the fates and the gods are real, but we make our own destinies"
[13:00] taus.solace: *smiles faintly* "This then, will let me create a new destiny. The burdens and lessons of my past have been impossible to forget, preventing me from letting go more fully of it. I still have uncertainties and doubts, but through these writings and plans, I can work more easily through those doubts."
[13:03] taus.solace: "I still bide my time to speak more openly about this. The boy's 'guest' has addressed me as Pherenike once.. so it would not do to go through the ritual now, only to have him taunt me further later."
[13:08] Misfit: "So once the dragon is dead we will hold your funeral and naming"
[13:14] taus.solace: *nods, then pauses a moment* "I have been thinking about a particular place for the funeral ritual. One that holds some meaning for me already... I intend to share my plans of it all after the dragon is dead. The letter Elexorien holds has the details, in case I should fall before I have the abilty to speak more plainly."
[13:09] Misfit: "So you already know where we will lay you to rest"
[13:14] taus.solace: *nods slowly* "I had been thinking much on it... And I keep coming back to the one place.. I wrote it all in the letter, because I could not think how to approach this subject plainly in words."
[13:15] Misfit: "Where is it?"
[13:19] taus.solace: "The waterhole, not far from Juarez.. It was there I met Little Girl and Ringo, and had learned of this group. It was there I instructed Wels to meet my grandmother, and when she revealed in her letter that I would be at rest.. I could think of no other place I would rather be, when the time came."
[13:21] Misfit: He nods. "Then we shall hold your ceremony there. Does anyone know the ritual?"
[13:27] taus.solace: *nods* "The sealed letter Elexorien holds, explains my wishes in full detail.. And.. I mentioned some parts in the letter I gave to you. These two are the only letters I have written concerning this, the only ones I felt the need to write. I thought of giving you the primary letter.. but, as consumed as I was at the time with doubts concerning my own abilities in the fight to come..." *hesitates, shaking her head*
[13:31] taus.solace: "I could not focus fully if I continued to worry myself with this. Elexorien appears to have many talents that may give him an edge in what is coming. You are... not of the same stock as he. I would not wish to stand against you, even in practice.. yet he had encouraged me to use my own blade against his, even with the pretense that he was an enemy."
[13:33] Misfit: He shakes his head. "I'm just a pirate. Wels is better than I with a sword and Nils was a killer for the NGR Army. Elex is something more, beyond what any mortal ought be able to do"
[13:38] taus.solace: *smiles slightly, leaning her head against his shoulder* "So you do understand why I did these in the way I did." she makes it into a statement, no question in her voice.
[13:39] Misfit: "If you can stand against him, you just might survive?"
[13:45] taus.solace: "When I matched my blade against his...I soon lost my focus, yet he did not. And I had believed then, if I should fall, then he would be able to.. attend to my final wishes."
[13:46] Misfit: "I'd rather not tend to your final wishes without you"
[13:51] taus.solace: *turns and gives him a gentle peck on the cheek* "I will not go without a fight. These other writings I have been working on since I wrote those two letters.... I have reasons enough to want to live, to see these things through myself.. and then, there is also you."
[13:59] Misfit: He smiles "Good, then. Keep your mind on the enemy in front of you, not the ghosts of your past. They only hurt you if you let them"
[14:05] taus.solace: *smiles, her body shaking in a silent chuckle* "You are sounding like Elexorien, for he has said almost the same thing."
[14:07] Misfit: "For different reasons, I think. The ghosts of our past are like the fates, they only have the power we let them have."
[14:13] taus.solace: "It is one thing to say, it is another to do. I did not want for these reflections of my past to manifest in the ways that they have.. It was not until I let them flow onto these pages that I had begun to feel some release of them."
[14:14] Misfit: "Then release them, write them down so they will haunt you no longer. Look to the boy to see just how haunted you can become. Although I suppose a dragon taking an interest is good excuse for him..."
[14:19] taus.solace: *she nods, then frowns slightly* "...as in the example of my wandering off--unknown to anyone, even myself.. or when I had seen another in the place of Elexorien. With so many focused on the boy, I need not add to everyone else's concerns. For if it should happen again, who would notice or follow..."
[14:21] taus.solace: "That is why I have set myself against the most uncomfortable tree I could find, so that perhaps the physical discomfort could keep me here in the present, while thinking and writing of these things of the past."
[14:23] Misfit: "Perhaps I should put you on a leash, Like Aliza had Ringo do?"
[14:25] taus.solace: *quirks an eyebrow at him, staring at him deadpanned*
[14:26] Misfit: "Or not. Probably for the best, I'd just get dragged behind you anyway"
[14:28] taus.solace: "At the very least.."
[14:29] taus.solace: "If I did not first break the leash.. or you.."
[14:30] Misfit: "I'd rather you not break me"
[14:34] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "I would rather not break you. At least the shadows have not manifested in such a way that we have need of worry of that." *slips an arm around him in a near-protective fashion* "Just.. do not try the leash."
[14:43] Misfit: He smiles "No, you are not one to be leashed."
[14:48] Misfit: "But kissed from head to toe and back..." he grins
[14:51] taus.solace: *smiles at him as color flushes in her cheeks*
[14:57] taus.solace: "When you say such things..." *closes her eyes for a moment*
[14:58] Misfit: He waits, watching her face
[15:03] taus.solace: *a calm smile spreads on her face, almost a grin* "...it is easier to set aside the heavy thoughts, if only for a time."
[15:04] Misfit: "Let me drive them from you, if only for a time"
[15:06] taus.solace: *nods without opening her eyes*
[15:07] Misfit: He begins kissing at her mouth then works his way lower while laying her on her back. She is thoroughly kissed and for part of it gagged by his hand
[15:14] taus.solace: She gives in to whatever he does, laying there while enjoying his touch and attention.
[15:16] Misfit: He kisses his way back to her mouth for a long make-out before propping up on his elbow and looking down at her
[15:19] taus.solace: *opens her eyes and smiles up at him when he draws away* "that was.. different, and.. nice."
[15:20] Misfit: He smiles "I thought perhaps you enjoyed it, but I didn't want everyone to hear just how much'
[15:26] taus.solace: *nods and blushes* "Thank you for that.. I almost had you remove your hand.. but then, thought better of it"
[15:29] Misfit: "I am always glad to do that for a beautiful woman, but it was never so... satisfying"
[15:37] taus.solace: *slowly wraps her arms around him* "If this is what you call satisfied.. I feel right now, I want for nothing..other than to stay like this with you a little longer. But I know soon enough, you may have camp duties to attend to.."
[15:37] Misfit: "We all have our duties, but I am yours a bit longer"
[15:47] taus.solace: *nods softly* "I want to keep these feelings strong---it feels like it has been too long since the last I could spend time like this with you... I do not think the darkness of the past will cause me to push you away.. . it only makes it more difficult to remember these moments."
[15:48] Misfit: He smiles "Should I show you more tonight, hold you in my arms longer?"
[15:50] Misfit: www.youtube.com/user/vkgoeswild? ... _nm3_Y3ldg
[15:55] taus.solace: *she returns his smile* "I would wish that you would.. the darkness will come enough on its own, without me trying to will it. I see now that it serves a purpose, as it works its way onto paper.. but when that is done, I will want for something that can chase the remnants of the burdens away"
[15:59] Misfit: He smiles "I will be here for you"
[16:05] taus.solace: *smiles, lightly tracing a finger down his arm, as she utters a phrase in Greek* "...fo̱s mou sto skotádi."
[16:06] taus.solace: she repeats in her accented English, in the same soft tones, "...my light in the darkness."
[16:07] Misfit: Now it's his turn to blush, though it doesn't show nearly as good
[16:14] taus.solace: "That is what you are, to me. No matter how dark the paths of my thoughts become, you are able to draw me out.. as you have shown on several occasions now. Do not feel you must never be away from my side.. rather, I invite you to never hesitate to sit near while I write, if you have no other pressing duties."
[16:14] Misfit: He nods "As I can" He smiles "I may not have the sea, but I have you, and it is enough"
[16:20] taus.solace: *smiles at him* "I believe some day, I would like to be properly introduced to this sea of yours."
[16:21] Misfit: "You will, some day. For now, the Captain has us on other tasks"
[16:21] Misfit: "But one day, you will feel her breeze caress your cheek, feel the deck roll beneath your feet, hear the sounds..."
[16:27] taus.solace: *nods* "I do not intend to take you away from your captain while she has need of you, but I wanted you to know that.. I am open to exploring..."
[16:27] Misfit: He smiles "Then we shall sea, sail the world"
A couple of hours later:
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:43:02 PM): Well, they'd made it back, Phere was seeming to struggle a bit with the way she'd wandered off. It had seemed like she'd wanted to speak more in-depth about it, but changed her mind for some reason.. She wandered to the most uncomfortable-looking tree she could find: rough bark, large knobs.. and wedged herself as flat against the tree as she could manage
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:44:34 PM): Lery had wandered next to her for a bit, but appeared he had other duties to tend to at camp. After he left, she'd continued writing...
Elex (6/6/2011 1:50:18 PM): *is up in the tree branches, swinging a leg from it and gazing off into the distance, just... How the hell did he get up there so quickly!?* "Not matter how hard you try... A tree will remain as a tree... And Pherenike will remain as Pherenike. She will never become the tree... Nor will the tree allow her in... "
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:55:08 PM): *glances upwards, obviously not-so-lost-in-thought as before* "I.. have the tree to remind me where I am.. so I do not become.. lost." *stifles a cringe as she shifts position slightly*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:01:22 PM): "I should not allow myself to wander freely in my thoughts, not after you had found me wandering in the literal sense."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:02:12 PM): *continues to look to the distance* "One must try to mindful about where they are... What they are doing... Perhaps you would like to discuss what it Is that so engrossed your thoughts, hmm?"
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:06:48 PM): *she nods* "Working them onto paper is turning into a conversation with myself.. But it is not the same as sharing them with another, does not have the same meaning.. You have had some insights to me before."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:09:52 PM): *nods slightly* "So I have... And I know you're affinity for writing things down... I can leave you to your thoughts if you like... So long as you don't go meandering again."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:13:05 PM): *peels herself slightly away from the tree, revealing a prominent knob that she'd had pressing into her mid-back. Also, the rough bark has left deep indentations in the exposed parts of her arms..not quite breaking the skin, but fairly close* "I would rather to share some of these things with you.. in part, you are one to thank for the direction my thoughts have taken."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:16:37 PM): *looks up more fully at Elex's perch* "Would you rather I join you up there, or have you join me down here? I do not wish to raise my voice louder than I must."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:46:39 PM): "The trees are as the earth... Free for our use. So it has been... So long as we thank them and be courteous to them for allowing us to utilize them." *he pats the branch* "Come."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:52:44 PM): *secures her notes in her pouch, then begins to climb the tree, moving somewhat stiffly--probably from sitting in the same position for the past couple of hours--but climbs her way to Elex's branch with little complaint*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:01:01 PM): *arranges herself in a more comfortable position* "I do not think you are ... wholly correct with one of your comments, from just now.." *rests her head lightly against the trunk of the tree*
Elex (6/6/2011 3:01:48 PM): *waits patiently for her to reach his branch. When she gets there, he has not much of a view to look at, more branches and trees, yet all the same... He gives that impression that he's seeing more than what's there* "The Trees, branches and leaves are our only witnesses for now... But they are a silent and tranquil sort..."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:02:41 PM): "Oh...? Perhaps I am not... That is always possible..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:06:17 PM): "When you said 'Pherenike will remain Pherenike' ... I feel...differently about that choice of words. Perhaps you meant simply that I would not become as part of the tree.. but the phrase speaks to me in..other ways."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:08:58 PM): "Ah... I am afraid then you may have misinterpreted my meaning behind that. For you are partly correct yourself. Pherenike could not become as the tree, yes, for the tree is it's own. As Pherenike is her own."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:09:36 PM): "For that, I apologize."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:11:36 PM): "to say that Pherenike will remain Pherenike, is as to say that Elexorien will remain as Elexorien... For, of course, what is there else for us to be... But ourselves."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:16:52 PM): *she nods* "But for me, Pherenike has a different meaning. It is a Name, but it is.. not who I am...have become. Pherenike is the Name of a Slayer.. a Slayer who is now dead to her people. It is a Name whose meaning no longer holds true, if it ever once did."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:19:20 PM): *glances upwards* "I have been giving much thought to this.. going over it my own mind, forming the details of it on these pages, between other things. I cannot be certain if this is the first you are hearing of this or not."
Elex (6/6/2011 6:48:05 PM): *nods shortly a few times* "Then... " *hmms lightly* "Is there another name for which we may call you by?"
taus.solace (6/6/2011 6:52:56 PM): *she draws in a breath as she thinks this over* "There... is.. however, I was content to carry this Name awhile longer. Cody's...guest knows of me by that Name. I do not know what I would do should he grow aware of my intent to lay that Name to rest."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 6:55:33 PM): "But when we have done what we came this way to do, after we deal with the dragon Nigel.. then will I disclose everything to the group as a whole."
Elex (6/6/2011 6:56:49 PM): "And for now... You will simply... continue to write it all down..." *pulls out the sealed letter from a pouch* "On these... just so that when the time comes, you are able to express it all, openly."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:01:12 PM): *she nods* "Yours has everything I wish everyone to know.. In case I do not get that chance. Only one other such letter have I written, but it is meant more for his eyes alone.. These other writings.. have been to focus my thoughts, so that I will be prepared with what I wish to say, and how I will say it, when that time comes."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:05:25 PM): "There is one thing more I wish to mention to you..but it is not something I myself am skilled with."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:07:56 PM): *looks at the letter before he places it back within a pouch and nods for her to continue*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:14:32 PM): "I can recall hearing you and Little Girl singing harmonies during the ride.."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:18:16 PM): "Would.." *she pauses, asking hesitantly* "would...you be willing to.. learn a new song? It is not the same one I have had stuck endlessly.. but that does not mean it has not been on my mind."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:19:09 PM): *blinks slightly and actually looks over at her now* "Learn a new song...? For you? But of course, it would be an honor..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:23:50 PM): "I.. am not a singer, though.. There was one song I was made to sing every morning of my training, and once I left I had decided I would never again sing.. and yet I hum, because these melodies have been quite persistent.. and were growing increasingly so. They would not allow themselves to be forgotten.."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:26:34 PM): "Rather than forget, I thought I could make them into something new, with a meaning that I would not mind remembering...or rather, one I should try to remember."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:30:54 PM): *nods understandingly* "I believe I understand what it is you wish to accomplish then... Again, I would still consider it an honor to learn this song for you..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:34:05 PM): *she smiles slightly* "I will not teach the words to you now, for that will depend on....whether or not you have need to open that letter.."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:35:56 PM): *makes a motion as though to say "granted"* "Then... let us not know of those words just yet... instead, let us focus on the more important part of the song. The tone... the melody... That is what sets the mood of any song, moreso than the actual words..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:38:03 PM): *she nods, takes a deep breath... then begins to hum a couple of bars..
Elex (6/6/2011 7:43:48 PM): *his gaze seems to glaze over as he takes in the tune, trying to delve into it's nuances*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:47:20 PM): *repeats the melody once, more or less on the same pitches as before*
Elex (6/6/2011 7:48:32 PM): *hums lightly the tune a few times to himself, each time he seems to get better... and better...*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:50:05 PM): *she nods, fading out once he starts to pick it up*
Elex (6/6/2011 7:51:38 PM): (So congratulations... I have now rolled 20 times on the sing skill and passed every time... I'd say he's gotten the the tune down)
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:52:09 PM): (hehe)
Elex (6/6/2011 7:53:35 PM): *when he opens his mouth to finally start actually singing the tune, it's of an ethereal quality that would rival people who had been trained for years in the art of the voice, his skill mixed with his elvish heritage seems to just blend together into something that is amazing*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:58:12 PM): *as she listens, there seems a bubble of emotion that threatens to overflow to the surface, as her eyes seem to grow bright and moist*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:01:51 PM): "That was... " *her words come out horsely as she tries to speak past the lump in her throat* "...I hope you will teach the others...if I cannot."
Elex (6/6/2011 8:09:55 PM): *opens his eyes and looks over at her, having closed his eyes to focus on the tune while he sang, he then smiles sympathetically* "You may cry... if you so wish to. I will not pass judgement upon you, for sheding tears over something that is important to you."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:18:03 PM): *she blinks as a tear escapes her eye, rolling halfway down her cheek before she wipes it away* "I have heard this tune a time or two..but this is the first that I have...been so moved by it... thank you.."
Elex (6/6/2011 8:21:11 PM): *smiles humbly, before turn his gaze back upon the wilderness* "You honor me with such praise, for I do not deserve it... However, all the same, you are welcome."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:23:41 PM): "Is the way in which you sing.. can that be taught, or is it as a part of you as your sword is?
Elex (6/6/2011 8:30:42 PM): *blinks slightly, frowning in thought, he ponders the question for several moments* "It is... a natural thing... for me to sing in such a way, though it is not often that I am able to do so.... I often sang... to Turk, Chu'Si and Erinti... "
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:56:21 PM): *she frowns slightly but nods* "Perhaps when I am finished with this other.. I can it within me to sing.. though it will sound nothing like what you have just done.."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:01:15 PM): *shakes his head* "The goal... should never be... to sound like another. That is not the point of singing... the point... is to sound like... You." *thinks upon it* "Singing is the voice of the soul and the heart. That is where the music really comes from..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:05:04 PM): *ponders* "These.. songs.. will not hold the same meaning if they remain words on a page.. or locked in my head.."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:09:48 PM): "They are not meant to be either... Singing allows those words to take flight with your soul... Ask One-chan about this. She will sing on the drop of a hat... while I tend to reserve that voice... It draws more attention to me than I am accustomed to..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:15:50 PM): *she nods slightly* "I find.. it is harder for me to follow the tune exactly. It seems to sound better within my own head than through my own ears.. yet, I the desire to hear this song in words is growing to where, I may not be able to help myself..in however it sounds."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:19:35 PM): *laughs* "Let it sound any which way it comes out... you are worried too much over how it will sound when it comes out. Your fear coming out again."\
Elex (6/6/2011 9:20:28 PM): "Simply allow it to flow from you... do not think, but instead... feel... Feel those words ringing out from your heart."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:26:28 PM): “Is it.. truly as simple as that? It was as easy to allow them to flow through my hand to the paper.. The..original songs, which I had long forgotten the exact words, they came first without active thought almost, for they had been long lost to my memory... “
Elex (6/6/2011 9:30:07 PM): "The song, perhaps not the words of the song, but the song itself... was a part of you. Is a part of you. That is a part of what it means to be able to sing..." *looks down slightly, blushing now* "A song... comes from your heart... it is something... that is as much a feeling, as it is words on a piece of paper... or notes. It is an art... something we can share with those we care about or love..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:38:15 PM): *looks at him puzzledly for a moment, then slowly nods* “I claim no attachment to the original, it does not anger me as it once did, but it is not something I want to voice aloud.... but in making it anew... this, I want to share.. perhaps even without waiting for Nigel’s death.”
Elex (6/6/2011 9:40:56 PM): *takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he exhales it out, before turning his attention to Phere and smiling* "That may be your choice, if you are comfortable in doing it. I would suggest becoming comfortable with it first though... like the blade. Make it a part of you, and extension of yourself."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:42:27 PM): * an extension
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:45:17 PM): “Perhaps...it is.. like any other. As I have tried to do things different than what I had known.. it feels strange at first. I was not wholly comfortable with even humming the tune aloud, or on purpose.. and yet, I have just now been able to share with you a tune the rest have not heard me utter.”
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:48:14 PM): “This had come about because I wished for a way to simply block it from my mind... as a large enough stone could block a stream of water.. Yet it now has taken a very different shape than what I intended, and I.. want to make it known.”
Elex (6/6/2011 9:53:16 PM): *nods knowlingly* "I can understand the desire to do just that... I can also understand wanting to wait until after Nigel is gone for good..."
[19:38] taus.solace: *sits with her back wedged against a rough-barked tree, paper in her lap, pen just barely hovering over the paper.. whether she's thinking or reading, it's hard to tell*
[19:39] Misfit: Lery comes and sits down. "You ok? You been writing a lot"
[19:44] taus.solace: *looks over to Lery and rests her pen down* "I have figured.. it is better that I can get my thoughts out somehow than keep them bottled within.. If Elexorien had not caught up to me when he did, I am not sure how much further I would have wandered... Or...how I would have made it back.."
[19:45] Misfit: Lery frowns
[19:49] taus.solace: "I do not mean this to worry you. Yet, as my mind wanders, so do I.. Or perhaps is the other way around....I can not be certain."
[19:52] Misfit: He nods. "Don't wander too far It's a vast wilderness out there and I don't want to lose you" then he smiles "Sit and write we can find you easier. What happened to the boy?"
[19:56] taus.solace: "Sometime after Elex caught up to me, he warned of trouble. It seems Cody was not far from us...yet I do not recall running into him." *she frowns slightly* "Next thing I know, Elexorien sent me running in one direction, while he turned and ran in the opposite direction... I climbed a nearby tree to get a better look, and saw them with a small group of.. dogfolk, I have not seen the like before. With plenty more spread out, seeming to advance on their position. It was not a friendly scene, so I ran back to them."
[19:58] taus.solace: *frowns* "By the time I got there, one was dead, others were wounded. The boy had taken some bad hits.. not the least of which was a blow to the head that made him speak of.. odd things. He spoke nonsense for awhile before he lost consciousness again."
[19:59] Misfit: "Like he needs a shot in the head to talk foolishness. So you all wandered off and found a fight"
[20:03] taus.solace: *she nods slowly* "It would have appeared that Cody had left first and Elexorien followed him.. But as for when I started my wandering, I have no recall. I do not remember even leaving camp, and that.. scares me, for I cannot be certain it will not happen again."
[20:04] Misfit: "your fight was also far enough we did not hear it."
[20:08] taus.solace: *nods* "We did not wish to bring the fight to the rest. They were pursuaded to leave us be, and left in a different direction, away from camp."
[20:08] Misfit: "They can always circle around and find our trail again"
[20:10] taus.solace: "It was a small number, a scout party perhaps? One mentioned the rest of their number would be eight days behind them.. and we should be long gone by then."
[20:10] Misfit: He nods, frowning. "Who were they?"
[20:14] taus.solace: *she shakes her head* "I am not certain, I have seen nothing like it before. They seemed to have a great dislike of dragons as well as those who use magic."
[20:16] taus.solace: "I had not the chance to ask Elexorien in more detail as to if he knew who or what they were.. We were more focused on getting Cody to safety."
[20:18] Misfit: He nods. "Well, I'm glad you're ok. Stay closer to us in the future. What's on your mind so much you can wander off that far?"
[20:24] taus.solace: *glances down at the paper that's sitting on her lap* "That tune... I started to mention it to you once before. It is but a vague phantom of my past.. yet it is now relentless. I thought that it would cease as I began to hum it.. but that has not worked."
[20:24] Misfit: "From your training?"
[20:28] taus.solace: *she nods* "As the tune has become more repetitive, so have..certain recollections about those days....."
[20:29] Misfit: He nods and puts an arm around her shoulders. "Maybe talking about it will help?"
[20:34] taus.solace: *nods and shifts her position, inching closer to him* "Talking would help. But it is not easy for me to speak so openly of such things. I know you have your camp duties, and around all of the others, it is quite difficult for me to speak my mind.. So I write, in order that at least I do not feel...trapped in these thoughts, memories."
[20:37] taus.solace: *looks down at the page again* "yet, for all of the writing, there remains a tangle of the past and present.. What has been done is not so easily undone."
[20:37] Misfit: "That is always the case, but you are among friends now"
[20:41] taus.solace: *manages a smile and leans her head against his arm* "This is true.. yet..." *her smile begins to fade* "...even among friends, I now cannot let my guard down.. I..have not told you what took place a couple of days ago."
[20:41] Misfit: "What happened?"
[20:45] taus.solace: "Elexorien and I have been talking off and on, discussing our different warrior paths. The night the vampires had amassed to attack the city, I told him, was the first time in a long time I had raised my sword against any foe. And now here I am, to stand with you all against a foe I do not know. I thought perhaps he could help shake some of the rust away.."
[20:46] taus.solace: "It was decided that he and I would have a spar between us. He seemed confident I could do no lasting damage to him, and he made it clear that I was to attack him as if I was attacking an enemy."
[20:47] Misfit: He nods, waiting for her to continue
[20:50] taus.solace: "He allowed me the first strike.. and I did not hold back. I cut his arm pretty deep.. before it began to heal as if it had not happened."
[20:53] taus.solace: "Once he began returning my blows..." *she frowns, tensing noticably*
[21:00] taus.solace: "..It was as if..I was.. somewhere else.. or rather, someWHEN else.. I was not certain then if it was a mere memory, or if somehow I had been made to... go back to that time."
[21:01] Misfit: "Like a flashback?"
[21:09] taus.solace: *she nods* "I was reacting as I would have back then. I did not try to deflect any of the blows with my shield.. nor my blade, for that matter I was just too focused on getting the next hit. When those hits did not land, as they often did not back then, I felt that same anger that had long been my only companion..."
[21:13] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "If it had not been Elexorien, but one who had wished true harm to come to me..." *lowers her head, letting silence take the place of the words left unspoken*
[21:13] Misfit: "There is more of your past you need to face and cast aside"
[21:18] taus.solace: *nods slowly in agreement* "I cannot employ the same techniques I once used--to turn and run, hide myself from people once more. I did that, and suffered greatly, while very much alone. I will not do that again."
[21:21] taus.solace: "But I cannot allow the memories to take me over, either.. in the way they did while I had put my blade against Elexorien's, or the walk in the woods that took me so far from camp."
[21:21] Misfit: Lery nods. "And so you write?"
[21:25] taus.solace: *nods* "It is easier to write than it would be to speak to another, for it seems I am speaking to myself.. I do not imagine that it makes much sense."
[21:29] taus.solace: "Yet, it helps to keep my mind occupied enough to focus on what I must, without worrying about my feet or legs taking me so far away that I cannot find my way back.. I have not yet mastered walking and writing, nor do I intend to try."
[21:30] Misfit: He nods. "Then write away"
[21:37] taus.solace: *she nods then pauses as if remembering something* "Oh.. I had become so occupied with these latest thoughts, I.. had forgotten.." *fumbles momentarily in her pouch, but hesitates, leaving her hand inside* "Lery.. there is something I had meant to give you, but, I must ask something of you first."
[21:38] taus.solace: *looks up at him, her expression solemn*
[21:38] Misfit: He nods "Ask it"
[21:43] taus.solace: "Do not open it." *without breaking her gaze, she removes her hand from her pouch, holding a folded paper stamped with a wax seal* "Not until and unless, I should reach the end of my journey out here. There are things I want to say, but cannot yet say.. Things I intend to say when we begin our journey back. But if I do not get that chance.. then may you read."
[21:43] taus.solace: *holds it towards him*
[21:44] Misfit: He takes it and tucks it away in a pocket. "I shall open it only should your journey end"
[21:48] taus.solace: "Elexorien carries a similar letter, with the same instructions as to when to open it. It is my hope they need not be opened, but there they are. The words were not easy to write, but it was something I felt I had to do, to better focus on other things."
[21:48] Misfit: He nods "As you wish"
[21:59] taus.solace: *gives a subdued smile and nestles her head against his shoulder* "Would.. you like to hear more of what it is that I am now writing? It is not near completion, but, I have mentioned it in part."
[22:00] Misfit: "I am always interested in what's on your mind"
[22:03] taus.solace: "That melody, it has been on my mind often as of late. It started as a faint whisper that I hardly noticed, yet grew into something I can no longer ignore. You had asked me once of its meaning."
[22:07] taus.solace: "I had tried to think of the words then, but I had none, only the tune.. Yet when I started writing on these pages, it was as though I had heard it yesterday."
[22:15] taus.solace: *smooths her hands over the words written in verse form* "The thought I have now, in order to move beyond the past, is to make it new And I can start with this, one of the first things they ever taught to us, even before our training started."
[22:15] Misfit: "Make it new? You are rewriting the songs you grew up with?"
[22:19] taus.solace: *nods* "I never felt a connection with the song I was taught, made to sing at the start of each day. Indeed, after I left, I had told myself I would never again sing anything, for any reason."
[22:21] taus.solace: *shrugs* "So why this should come to me now, after all of this time, I do not know. The tune has shown me that it will not be ignored, so, rather than fight against it and attempt to forget again, I intend to make it into something that....I will want to remember."
[22:21] Misfit: He nods "Then we should all sing your version, so you hear it in the voices of friends"
[22:26] taus.solace: *flushes with sudden embarrassment, yet manages a small grin* "I have not written the words with the intent for others to sing.. for in this, I speak of where I have come from, and the direction I feel I am headed... I am not even certain I could sing the final version aloud. I do not make the same kind of sounds I have heard from Elexorien or Little Girl."
[22:27] Misfit: "I can take you to places where friendly voices will life up the song and none will care how well any voice sounds"
[22:31] taus.solace: *smiles* "I do have dreams of sharing this openly, when it is complete.. this, and, another tune that has not seemed to haunt me as much as this one.. perhaps that one, I can teach for others to join...." *her smile slowly fades* "except.."
[22:33] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "Perhaps I should not say after all.. or get my hopes up. It would be better if I had others to join, when the time comes.. but I do not know how to approach the asking."
[11:59] Misfit: "simple, you ask if they would join you in a song. Or, sometimes, you just start singing"
[12:07] taus.solace: *frowns thoughtfully* "I cannot expect others to join in if I do not take the time to share what it is."
[12:13] taus.solace: *leans her head back, glancing upwards* "I do not know how to put it into words. I am imagining you will think it is not serious, perhaps even foolish or silly.. even though, you have shown no signs of thinking such things yet."
[12:13] Misfit: "If it weighs so heavily on you, it can't be trivial"
[12:16] taus.solace: *closes her eyes* "I was going to speak more on this after we started the journey back, but even then it will not be any easier to come out and say.."
[12:20] Misfit: "Then just say it. You may find the fear of it harder then the doing"
[12:27] taus.solace: *nods and opens her eyes to look at Lery* "my.. Name, Pherenike, was given to me when I became a Slayer. But on this journey, I have decided that the Slayer is not who I am, despite what my people thought or hoped--we have spoken of this already. My people now believe that the Slayer Pherenike is dead...." *she pauses* "...and I feel, that is how it must be.."
[12:28] taus.solace: *pauses again to observe his reaction*
[12:30] Misfit: He's obviously trying to work it through and not succeeding
[12:37] taus.solace: *she takes his hand and squeezes it gently* "As long as I have the Name, I carry the burdens of what my people wanted, which I continue to fight against as I try to live within this new life you have introduced me to. I do not have the desire or intent to die myself.. But I do wish to put the Name to rest."
[12:38] Misfit: "So you are taking a new name"
[12:43] taus.solace: *she nods* "I had thought of several, but one in particular seems to fit.. yet it does not seem proper to take on the new Name until the former is put at rest. I had no intent to carry out any of the rituals my people have done for generations.. but it seems the best way to go about this."
[12:44] Misfit: "So we hold a funeral and a naming ceremony?"
[12:47] taus.solace: *she nods again* "I do not know of your funeral rituals, but the one my people would have used seem a good model.. Indeed, they would have held one for me already.. when my grandmother revealed that I was dead. That realization set in a few days after the letter came, and I have been thinking on this since then."
[12:51] taus.solace: "It is believed that when a Slayer dies, the soul is held in place until everyone is gathered to.... plea with The Fates to allow that soul to be born anew, Even if the Slayer's body is not able to be recovered, the ritual is carried out in the hope that The Fates will be guided to the soul... They would have done this, whether my grandmother encouraged it or not."
[12:55] taus.solace: *she tenses slightly* "I know you, along with some of the others, do not believe in The Fates as such beings.. but I cannot deny that there have been Slayers who claim to recall details of past lives."
[12:55] Misfit: Lery shakes his head "I believe the fates and the gods are real, but we make our own destinies"
[13:00] taus.solace: *smiles faintly* "This then, will let me create a new destiny. The burdens and lessons of my past have been impossible to forget, preventing me from letting go more fully of it. I still have uncertainties and doubts, but through these writings and plans, I can work more easily through those doubts."
[13:03] taus.solace: "I still bide my time to speak more openly about this. The boy's 'guest' has addressed me as Pherenike once.. so it would not do to go through the ritual now, only to have him taunt me further later."
[13:08] Misfit: "So once the dragon is dead we will hold your funeral and naming"
[13:14] taus.solace: *nods, then pauses a moment* "I have been thinking about a particular place for the funeral ritual. One that holds some meaning for me already... I intend to share my plans of it all after the dragon is dead. The letter Elexorien holds has the details, in case I should fall before I have the abilty to speak more plainly."
[13:09] Misfit: "So you already know where we will lay you to rest"
[13:14] taus.solace: *nods slowly* "I had been thinking much on it... And I keep coming back to the one place.. I wrote it all in the letter, because I could not think how to approach this subject plainly in words."
[13:15] Misfit: "Where is it?"
[13:19] taus.solace: "The waterhole, not far from Juarez.. It was there I met Little Girl and Ringo, and had learned of this group. It was there I instructed Wels to meet my grandmother, and when she revealed in her letter that I would be at rest.. I could think of no other place I would rather be, when the time came."
[13:21] Misfit: He nods. "Then we shall hold your ceremony there. Does anyone know the ritual?"
[13:27] taus.solace: *nods* "The sealed letter Elexorien holds, explains my wishes in full detail.. And.. I mentioned some parts in the letter I gave to you. These two are the only letters I have written concerning this, the only ones I felt the need to write. I thought of giving you the primary letter.. but, as consumed as I was at the time with doubts concerning my own abilities in the fight to come..." *hesitates, shaking her head*
[13:31] taus.solace: "I could not focus fully if I continued to worry myself with this. Elexorien appears to have many talents that may give him an edge in what is coming. You are... not of the same stock as he. I would not wish to stand against you, even in practice.. yet he had encouraged me to use my own blade against his, even with the pretense that he was an enemy."
[13:33] Misfit: He shakes his head. "I'm just a pirate. Wels is better than I with a sword and Nils was a killer for the NGR Army. Elex is something more, beyond what any mortal ought be able to do"
[13:38] taus.solace: *smiles slightly, leaning her head against his shoulder* "So you do understand why I did these in the way I did." she makes it into a statement, no question in her voice.
[13:39] Misfit: "If you can stand against him, you just might survive?"
[13:45] taus.solace: "When I matched my blade against his...I soon lost my focus, yet he did not. And I had believed then, if I should fall, then he would be able to.. attend to my final wishes."
[13:46] Misfit: "I'd rather not tend to your final wishes without you"
[13:51] taus.solace: *turns and gives him a gentle peck on the cheek* "I will not go without a fight. These other writings I have been working on since I wrote those two letters.... I have reasons enough to want to live, to see these things through myself.. and then, there is also you."
[13:59] Misfit: He smiles "Good, then. Keep your mind on the enemy in front of you, not the ghosts of your past. They only hurt you if you let them"
[14:05] taus.solace: *smiles, her body shaking in a silent chuckle* "You are sounding like Elexorien, for he has said almost the same thing."
[14:07] Misfit: "For different reasons, I think. The ghosts of our past are like the fates, they only have the power we let them have."
[14:13] taus.solace: "It is one thing to say, it is another to do. I did not want for these reflections of my past to manifest in the ways that they have.. It was not until I let them flow onto these pages that I had begun to feel some release of them."
[14:14] Misfit: "Then release them, write them down so they will haunt you no longer. Look to the boy to see just how haunted you can become. Although I suppose a dragon taking an interest is good excuse for him..."
[14:19] taus.solace: *she nods, then frowns slightly* "...as in the example of my wandering off--unknown to anyone, even myself.. or when I had seen another in the place of Elexorien. With so many focused on the boy, I need not add to everyone else's concerns. For if it should happen again, who would notice or follow..."
[14:21] taus.solace: "That is why I have set myself against the most uncomfortable tree I could find, so that perhaps the physical discomfort could keep me here in the present, while thinking and writing of these things of the past."
[14:23] Misfit: "Perhaps I should put you on a leash, Like Aliza had Ringo do?"
[14:25] taus.solace: *quirks an eyebrow at him, staring at him deadpanned*
[14:26] Misfit: "Or not. Probably for the best, I'd just get dragged behind you anyway"
[14:28] taus.solace: "At the very least.."
[14:29] taus.solace: "If I did not first break the leash.. or you.."
[14:30] Misfit: "I'd rather you not break me"
[14:34] taus.solace: *shakes her head* "I would rather not break you. At least the shadows have not manifested in such a way that we have need of worry of that." *slips an arm around him in a near-protective fashion* "Just.. do not try the leash."
[14:43] Misfit: He smiles "No, you are not one to be leashed."
[14:48] Misfit: "But kissed from head to toe and back..." he grins
[14:51] taus.solace: *smiles at him as color flushes in her cheeks*
[14:57] taus.solace: "When you say such things..." *closes her eyes for a moment*
[14:58] Misfit: He waits, watching her face
[15:03] taus.solace: *a calm smile spreads on her face, almost a grin* "...it is easier to set aside the heavy thoughts, if only for a time."
[15:04] Misfit: "Let me drive them from you, if only for a time"
[15:06] taus.solace: *nods without opening her eyes*
[15:07] Misfit: He begins kissing at her mouth then works his way lower while laying her on her back. She is thoroughly kissed and for part of it gagged by his hand
[15:14] taus.solace: She gives in to whatever he does, laying there while enjoying his touch and attention.
[15:16] Misfit: He kisses his way back to her mouth for a long make-out before propping up on his elbow and looking down at her
[15:19] taus.solace: *opens her eyes and smiles up at him when he draws away* "that was.. different, and.. nice."
[15:20] Misfit: He smiles "I thought perhaps you enjoyed it, but I didn't want everyone to hear just how much'
[15:26] taus.solace: *nods and blushes* "Thank you for that.. I almost had you remove your hand.. but then, thought better of it"
[15:29] Misfit: "I am always glad to do that for a beautiful woman, but it was never so... satisfying"
[15:37] taus.solace: *slowly wraps her arms around him* "If this is what you call satisfied.. I feel right now, I want for nothing..other than to stay like this with you a little longer. But I know soon enough, you may have camp duties to attend to.."
[15:37] Misfit: "We all have our duties, but I am yours a bit longer"
[15:47] taus.solace: *nods softly* "I want to keep these feelings strong---it feels like it has been too long since the last I could spend time like this with you... I do not think the darkness of the past will cause me to push you away.. . it only makes it more difficult to remember these moments."
[15:48] Misfit: He smiles "Should I show you more tonight, hold you in my arms longer?"
[15:50] Misfit: www.youtube.com/user/vkgoeswild? ... _nm3_Y3ldg
[15:55] taus.solace: *she returns his smile* "I would wish that you would.. the darkness will come enough on its own, without me trying to will it. I see now that it serves a purpose, as it works its way onto paper.. but when that is done, I will want for something that can chase the remnants of the burdens away"
[15:59] Misfit: He smiles "I will be here for you"
[16:05] taus.solace: *smiles, lightly tracing a finger down his arm, as she utters a phrase in Greek* "...fo̱s mou sto skotádi."
[16:06] taus.solace: she repeats in her accented English, in the same soft tones, "...my light in the darkness."
[16:07] Misfit: Now it's his turn to blush, though it doesn't show nearly as good
[16:14] taus.solace: "That is what you are, to me. No matter how dark the paths of my thoughts become, you are able to draw me out.. as you have shown on several occasions now. Do not feel you must never be away from my side.. rather, I invite you to never hesitate to sit near while I write, if you have no other pressing duties."
[16:14] Misfit: He nods "As I can" He smiles "I may not have the sea, but I have you, and it is enough"
[16:20] taus.solace: *smiles at him* "I believe some day, I would like to be properly introduced to this sea of yours."
[16:21] Misfit: "You will, some day. For now, the Captain has us on other tasks"
[16:21] Misfit: "But one day, you will feel her breeze caress your cheek, feel the deck roll beneath your feet, hear the sounds..."
[16:27] taus.solace: *nods* "I do not intend to take you away from your captain while she has need of you, but I wanted you to know that.. I am open to exploring..."
[16:27] Misfit: He smiles "Then we shall sea, sail the world"
A couple of hours later:
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:43:02 PM): Well, they'd made it back, Phere was seeming to struggle a bit with the way she'd wandered off. It had seemed like she'd wanted to speak more in-depth about it, but changed her mind for some reason.. She wandered to the most uncomfortable-looking tree she could find: rough bark, large knobs.. and wedged herself as flat against the tree as she could manage
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:44:34 PM): Lery had wandered next to her for a bit, but appeared he had other duties to tend to at camp. After he left, she'd continued writing...
Elex (6/6/2011 1:50:18 PM): *is up in the tree branches, swinging a leg from it and gazing off into the distance, just... How the hell did he get up there so quickly!?* "Not matter how hard you try... A tree will remain as a tree... And Pherenike will remain as Pherenike. She will never become the tree... Nor will the tree allow her in... "
taus.solace (6/6/2011 1:55:08 PM): *glances upwards, obviously not-so-lost-in-thought as before* "I.. have the tree to remind me where I am.. so I do not become.. lost." *stifles a cringe as she shifts position slightly*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:01:22 PM): "I should not allow myself to wander freely in my thoughts, not after you had found me wandering in the literal sense."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:02:12 PM): *continues to look to the distance* "One must try to mindful about where they are... What they are doing... Perhaps you would like to discuss what it Is that so engrossed your thoughts, hmm?"
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:06:48 PM): *she nods* "Working them onto paper is turning into a conversation with myself.. But it is not the same as sharing them with another, does not have the same meaning.. You have had some insights to me before."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:09:52 PM): *nods slightly* "So I have... And I know you're affinity for writing things down... I can leave you to your thoughts if you like... So long as you don't go meandering again."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:13:05 PM): *peels herself slightly away from the tree, revealing a prominent knob that she'd had pressing into her mid-back. Also, the rough bark has left deep indentations in the exposed parts of her arms..not quite breaking the skin, but fairly close* "I would rather to share some of these things with you.. in part, you are one to thank for the direction my thoughts have taken."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:16:37 PM): *looks up more fully at Elex's perch* "Would you rather I join you up there, or have you join me down here? I do not wish to raise my voice louder than I must."
Elex (6/6/2011 2:46:39 PM): "The trees are as the earth... Free for our use. So it has been... So long as we thank them and be courteous to them for allowing us to utilize them." *he pats the branch* "Come."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 2:52:44 PM): *secures her notes in her pouch, then begins to climb the tree, moving somewhat stiffly--probably from sitting in the same position for the past couple of hours--but climbs her way to Elex's branch with little complaint*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:01:01 PM): *arranges herself in a more comfortable position* "I do not think you are ... wholly correct with one of your comments, from just now.." *rests her head lightly against the trunk of the tree*
Elex (6/6/2011 3:01:48 PM): *waits patiently for her to reach his branch. When she gets there, he has not much of a view to look at, more branches and trees, yet all the same... He gives that impression that he's seeing more than what's there* "The Trees, branches and leaves are our only witnesses for now... But they are a silent and tranquil sort..."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:02:41 PM): "Oh...? Perhaps I am not... That is always possible..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:06:17 PM): "When you said 'Pherenike will remain Pherenike' ... I feel...differently about that choice of words. Perhaps you meant simply that I would not become as part of the tree.. but the phrase speaks to me in..other ways."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:08:58 PM): "Ah... I am afraid then you may have misinterpreted my meaning behind that. For you are partly correct yourself. Pherenike could not become as the tree, yes, for the tree is it's own. As Pherenike is her own."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:09:36 PM): "For that, I apologize."
Elex (6/6/2011 3:11:36 PM): "to say that Pherenike will remain Pherenike, is as to say that Elexorien will remain as Elexorien... For, of course, what is there else for us to be... But ourselves."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:16:52 PM): *she nods* "But for me, Pherenike has a different meaning. It is a Name, but it is.. not who I am...have become. Pherenike is the Name of a Slayer.. a Slayer who is now dead to her people. It is a Name whose meaning no longer holds true, if it ever once did."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 3:19:20 PM): *glances upwards* "I have been giving much thought to this.. going over it my own mind, forming the details of it on these pages, between other things. I cannot be certain if this is the first you are hearing of this or not."
Elex (6/6/2011 6:48:05 PM): *nods shortly a few times* "Then... " *hmms lightly* "Is there another name for which we may call you by?"
taus.solace (6/6/2011 6:52:56 PM): *she draws in a breath as she thinks this over* "There... is.. however, I was content to carry this Name awhile longer. Cody's...guest knows of me by that Name. I do not know what I would do should he grow aware of my intent to lay that Name to rest."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 6:55:33 PM): "But when we have done what we came this way to do, after we deal with the dragon Nigel.. then will I disclose everything to the group as a whole."
Elex (6/6/2011 6:56:49 PM): "And for now... You will simply... continue to write it all down..." *pulls out the sealed letter from a pouch* "On these... just so that when the time comes, you are able to express it all, openly."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:01:12 PM): *she nods* "Yours has everything I wish everyone to know.. In case I do not get that chance. Only one other such letter have I written, but it is meant more for his eyes alone.. These other writings.. have been to focus my thoughts, so that I will be prepared with what I wish to say, and how I will say it, when that time comes."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:05:25 PM): "There is one thing more I wish to mention to you..but it is not something I myself am skilled with."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:07:56 PM): *looks at the letter before he places it back within a pouch and nods for her to continue*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:14:32 PM): "I can recall hearing you and Little Girl singing harmonies during the ride.."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:18:16 PM): "Would.." *she pauses, asking hesitantly* "would...you be willing to.. learn a new song? It is not the same one I have had stuck endlessly.. but that does not mean it has not been on my mind."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:19:09 PM): *blinks slightly and actually looks over at her now* "Learn a new song...? For you? But of course, it would be an honor..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:23:50 PM): "I.. am not a singer, though.. There was one song I was made to sing every morning of my training, and once I left I had decided I would never again sing.. and yet I hum, because these melodies have been quite persistent.. and were growing increasingly so. They would not allow themselves to be forgotten.."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:26:34 PM): "Rather than forget, I thought I could make them into something new, with a meaning that I would not mind remembering...or rather, one I should try to remember."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:30:54 PM): *nods understandingly* "I believe I understand what it is you wish to accomplish then... Again, I would still consider it an honor to learn this song for you..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:34:05 PM): *she smiles slightly* "I will not teach the words to you now, for that will depend on....whether or not you have need to open that letter.."
Elex (6/6/2011 7:35:56 PM): *makes a motion as though to say "granted"* "Then... let us not know of those words just yet... instead, let us focus on the more important part of the song. The tone... the melody... That is what sets the mood of any song, moreso than the actual words..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:38:03 PM): *she nods, takes a deep breath... then begins to hum a couple of bars..
Elex (6/6/2011 7:43:48 PM): *his gaze seems to glaze over as he takes in the tune, trying to delve into it's nuances*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:47:20 PM): *repeats the melody once, more or less on the same pitches as before*
Elex (6/6/2011 7:48:32 PM): *hums lightly the tune a few times to himself, each time he seems to get better... and better...*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:50:05 PM): *she nods, fading out once he starts to pick it up*
Elex (6/6/2011 7:51:38 PM): (So congratulations... I have now rolled 20 times on the sing skill and passed every time... I'd say he's gotten the the tune down)
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:52:09 PM): (hehe)
Elex (6/6/2011 7:53:35 PM): *when he opens his mouth to finally start actually singing the tune, it's of an ethereal quality that would rival people who had been trained for years in the art of the voice, his skill mixed with his elvish heritage seems to just blend together into something that is amazing*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 7:58:12 PM): *as she listens, there seems a bubble of emotion that threatens to overflow to the surface, as her eyes seem to grow bright and moist*
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:01:51 PM): "That was... " *her words come out horsely as she tries to speak past the lump in her throat* "...I hope you will teach the others...if I cannot."
Elex (6/6/2011 8:09:55 PM): *opens his eyes and looks over at her, having closed his eyes to focus on the tune while he sang, he then smiles sympathetically* "You may cry... if you so wish to. I will not pass judgement upon you, for sheding tears over something that is important to you."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:18:03 PM): *she blinks as a tear escapes her eye, rolling halfway down her cheek before she wipes it away* "I have heard this tune a time or two..but this is the first that I have...been so moved by it... thank you.."
Elex (6/6/2011 8:21:11 PM): *smiles humbly, before turn his gaze back upon the wilderness* "You honor me with such praise, for I do not deserve it... However, all the same, you are welcome."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:23:41 PM): "Is the way in which you sing.. can that be taught, or is it as a part of you as your sword is?
Elex (6/6/2011 8:30:42 PM): *blinks slightly, frowning in thought, he ponders the question for several moments* "It is... a natural thing... for me to sing in such a way, though it is not often that I am able to do so.... I often sang... to Turk, Chu'Si and Erinti... "
taus.solace (6/6/2011 8:56:21 PM): *she frowns slightly but nods* "Perhaps when I am finished with this other.. I can it within me to sing.. though it will sound nothing like what you have just done.."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:01:15 PM): *shakes his head* "The goal... should never be... to sound like another. That is not the point of singing... the point... is to sound like... You." *thinks upon it* "Singing is the voice of the soul and the heart. That is where the music really comes from..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:05:04 PM): *ponders* "These.. songs.. will not hold the same meaning if they remain words on a page.. or locked in my head.."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:09:48 PM): "They are not meant to be either... Singing allows those words to take flight with your soul... Ask One-chan about this. She will sing on the drop of a hat... while I tend to reserve that voice... It draws more attention to me than I am accustomed to..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:15:50 PM): *she nods slightly* "I find.. it is harder for me to follow the tune exactly. It seems to sound better within my own head than through my own ears.. yet, I the desire to hear this song in words is growing to where, I may not be able to help myself..in however it sounds."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:19:35 PM): *laughs* "Let it sound any which way it comes out... you are worried too much over how it will sound when it comes out. Your fear coming out again."\
Elex (6/6/2011 9:20:28 PM): "Simply allow it to flow from you... do not think, but instead... feel... Feel those words ringing out from your heart."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:26:28 PM): “Is it.. truly as simple as that? It was as easy to allow them to flow through my hand to the paper.. The..original songs, which I had long forgotten the exact words, they came first without active thought almost, for they had been long lost to my memory... “
Elex (6/6/2011 9:30:07 PM): "The song, perhaps not the words of the song, but the song itself... was a part of you. Is a part of you. That is a part of what it means to be able to sing..." *looks down slightly, blushing now* "A song... comes from your heart... it is something... that is as much a feeling, as it is words on a piece of paper... or notes. It is an art... something we can share with those we care about or love..."
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:38:15 PM): *looks at him puzzledly for a moment, then slowly nods* “I claim no attachment to the original, it does not anger me as it once did, but it is not something I want to voice aloud.... but in making it anew... this, I want to share.. perhaps even without waiting for Nigel’s death.”
Elex (6/6/2011 9:40:56 PM): *takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he exhales it out, before turning his attention to Phere and smiling* "That may be your choice, if you are comfortable in doing it. I would suggest becoming comfortable with it first though... like the blade. Make it a part of you, and extension of yourself."
Elex (6/6/2011 9:42:27 PM): * an extension
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:45:17 PM): “Perhaps...it is.. like any other. As I have tried to do things different than what I had known.. it feels strange at first. I was not wholly comfortable with even humming the tune aloud, or on purpose.. and yet, I have just now been able to share with you a tune the rest have not heard me utter.”
taus.solace (6/6/2011 9:48:14 PM): “This had come about because I wished for a way to simply block it from my mind... as a large enough stone could block a stream of water.. Yet it now has taken a very different shape than what I intended, and I.. want to make it known.”
Elex (6/6/2011 9:53:16 PM): *nods knowlingly* "I can understand the desire to do just that... I can also understand wanting to wait until after Nigel is gone for good..."
